tough
Posted by Sarah Dopp on November 11th, 2008 at 08:00 am
Someone shared this question about a work situation:
I’m trying to figure out how much of my gender queer-ness to display at a high profile business event, where I’m on stage sometimes, representing the voice of the audience through the backchannel of the event. I’m also semi-official as the event’s own blogger. The event is in two days, and I’m scared that if I’m “too ambiguous” which in this case means that enough people mistake me for a guy, this will be a “thing” and reflect badly on me or the event. The alternative would be skipping the binder top (that I don’t wear all the time anyway), finding clothes with some color and giving people enough hints about my femaleness to make them feel safe. On the other hand they’ve hired me, supposedly knowing who I am and what I look like… I think the conclusion is that I’ll “fuck it” and just go as my pretty male-clothed and very androgynous self, but still being a bit nervous about it…
What advice would you give?
(Tip: You can avoid having to pick a gendered pronoun here if you just refer to the writer as “you.”)
Artist writes: “Butch Tap, from Oakland, CA, performing live at the Showcase night of IDKE X in Columbus, OH.”
Wow, I just got hit with a bunch of rich, incredible thoughts from the new Share form. You floor me.
Here are some of the things you’re saying:
I wish I could wear skirts and high heels on a daily basis without having to worry about gender. I wish I had breasts.
A very smart guy I know, once told me he had spent some time speculating what a third gender might be like — not an in-between or androgynous gender, but a new third corner to the graph with characteristics that were recognizably neither male nor female. He confessed it was hard going, but the nearest he had been able to come up with was “cat-boy”.
Can you imagine a third gender?
I wish I could morph between genders and I also wish more people would see that my gender is not straightforward.
I like my body, but I wish it expressed my gender identity.
If you’re not living in a feed reader, you may have noticed that Genderfork got a facelift this weekend. That’s right: please welcome The Redesign. I’m still working out a few kinks, so if you notice something that’s not quite right, please drop a comment below and let me know.
I’d also like to introduce you to a new genderfork toy. It’s this:
And I made it just for you.
Basically, it’s a contact form without the required “contact info” part. I’d like to start publishing more of your perspectives and words, and this is an easy, low-stress way for you to get them to me. You can be as anonymous or as identified as you want. Send me your questions, confusions, and confessions, and I’ll start putting them up for other people to connect with.
Someone is listening.
Love,
Sarah
p.s. There’s a link to this page on the right sidebar under “Share” now, for future reference.
This election marked the first African-American President. The first time in 40 years an Oregon Senate candidate beat an incumbent Senator. And in tiny Silverton, Oregon, residents have elected the man who’s believed to be the first ever openly transgender mayor in the United States.
Stu Rasmussen served two terms as the Mayor of Silverton in the 1990s. But he hadn’t admitted to being transgender. He’s not the same man now that he was then. Today he wears a skirt and high heels. He has breast implants, and long red hair. He looks like a woman – but he’s not.
“I identify mostly as a heterosexual male,” Rasmussen said. “But I just like to look like a female.”
(via Jiz Lee)