anybody else like me?

Someone wrote…

I’m a woman. I am straight. I just don’t like wearing “women’s clothes”. I like baggy jeans and baggy hooded sweatshirts. I like T-shirts with geeky messages. I don’t like flowers or pink or skirts. I don’t wear makeup. Why would I wear makeup? It’s seems like such a weird thing to do. My hair is short, and I have a mohawk. I have piercings and tattoos.

It seems that most people have a box in their mind where they put “butch” women and that box is labeled “lesbian”. I even had a doctor ask me once “Are you sure you’re not a lesbian?”. Lady, I think I’d know if I fell in love with women and/or wanted to have sex with them. It seems like something that one would be aware of, wouldn’t you think?

I often wonder if there are anybody else out there like me. And if there are any men that are attracted to women like me.

Okay, I know you know she’s not alone on this. Tell her.

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on December 12th, 2008 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 11 comments »

11 Responses to “anybody else like me?”

  1. Britni

    You are definitely not alone. You know, even though I am a girly girly girl, I have many female friends that are much like you. My old roommate was a hockey player and everyone assumed that she was a lesbian because of the way that she looked and dressed, but in actuality she was straight. And she found men fairly easily; usually other hockey players or men with similar interests as hers.

    I’ll let you know that you sound hot and that if you were a lesbian you’re probably the kind of girl that I would be all over :)

    But I’m sure you’ll find a guy that loves you just the way you are and thinks that you are hot, girly or not. Sometimes it just takes longer than we’d like.


  2. Anja Flower

    Oh, you’re totally not alone in this. And trust me, there are plenty of heterosexual men who are attracted to a woman with a ‘hawk and some body mods! Why else would SuicideGirls, GodsGirls and BlueBlood exist? Androgyny is increasingly being accepted as one of the many varieties of sexy.

    I find this particularly interesting because I’m a genderqueer transwoman – but as a guy I was androgynous and fey, and as a girl I’m a bit butch, as a girl I wear steel-toe boots and have a mohawk. So I can sympathize. I know what it’s like for people to shut out all varieties of sexy except for the ones they find in a Victoria’s Secret catalog.


  3. genderkid

    I’d probably be attracted to you, and I’m male. Actually, I’m happy to hear there are straight women like you. I’m a transman and I was worried that, after transitioning, I wouldn’t be able to find any butch women willing to date a guy.

    People probably think I’m gay, too, since I’m pretty femme for a dude. I *am* queer, but not just gay!


  4. stii

    I’m absolutely attracted to women like you, and I know I’m not the only guy who is.


  5. jen

    Hi, Original Poster, are you me? Seriously, the similarity is startling. People apparently assume I’m a lesbian without even inquiring, making it hard to get a date. I’m not a lesbian, I’m just a geek in jeans and a t-shirt who likes short hair, piercings, and tattoos. Any success I’ve had with guys has been with fellow geeks. At least some of them can be swayed by a Shadow of the Colossus t-shirt and a complete collection of Sandman.


  6. Anja Flower


    Hell, I’d be swayed by a complete collection of The Sandman!


  7. Nelz

    I am a het male, and I *love* me some butchy women…

    I had a ‘problem’ in college: it seemed that every girl I was attracted to was gay.

    Luckily I’ve been able to find a girl who is just femme and just butch enough for me.

    Us butch-lovin’ guys are out here, so don’t you worry!


  8. B

    I’d be swayed by a complete collection of The Sandman too :D


  9. Charlotte

    My friends tell me I’m lesbian and prove it by counting anytime I act mildly gay on this imaginary chalkboard they have. I wish they didn’t have to attach being butch with being “gay.” And I wish I didn’t care so much that I added 18 more tallies to the board today.


  10. RBG

    I’m exactly like this. Well, mostly. I wear dress shirts a bowties, I’m always writing on myself and have a ginger faux-hawk.

    Inside, I feel like a gay man, but I present very boyish.

    I am NOT gay. But girls are usually uncomfortable around me and quick to assume. It’s frustrating when everyone thinks you don’t know best.

    Also, Charlotte, if you have any gay friends, you should have a chalk board as well, and count every time they act straight.


  11. Andie

    … This is me. Very much so. I’m a chick, and I like guys only. I just hate women’s clothing the majority of the time. I’d much rather wear my nerdy tee shirts with a pair of guys’ shorts and sneakers, and have my hair cut short so I don’t have to mess with it.

    And, RBG, me too. I definitely feel like a gay guy inside.
    And all of the guys I fall for are gay. -_-


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