Can’t sleep…
Cant sleep
sitting up
typing
wiping
at tears
(shed for fears)
My fingers bleed.
I don’t know who i am
I don’t know what to say.
Each day
I am different
and have to meet myself
for what feels like
the first time in a long time.
I battle with the boy
inside me
The boy within
who can’t seem to see
a way
to emerge/become
submerge/just be.
I am he
as much as i am me.
I cant sleep for the fear,
my heart murmers
and strings pull deep
and sinew
inside of me.
I ache
as i rest
body quiver,
I am displaced
disgraced,
lost and weary.
To sleep
in peace,
to be
and be free.
He cries silent
inside
within
heart and mind and body and soul
He makes me whole
complete
He is beside me.
Cloaked and daggered
he weeps tears
for all the years
he has spent
in the dark
and without
an identity
to identify.
He is me
and together we sit
awake
and silently.
In the darkness we cry.
– Jacqe Matelot
Category: poetry, your voice 6 comments »
November 27th, 2008 at 1:02 am |
This isn’t anonymous…
[Reply]
November 27th, 2008 at 5:38 pm |
Hi Jacqe,
This poem came through without any name, email, or URL attached to it. If you know more about where it comes from, can you email me?
Thanks,
Sarah
sarah at sarahdopp dot com
[Reply]
November 27th, 2008 at 8:48 pm |
Hi Sarah, i wrote this, although i don’t know how it came to be submitted here. I am most happy to have it on your site. I love your site and check it daily. If you need some sort of proof that i wrote it, i have digital, dated copies on various other sites.
Cheers, and keep up the good work
x
Jacqe Matelot.
P.s (the piece of writing has an accompanying photo if you’re interested)
[Reply]
November 27th, 2008 at 9:02 pm |
http://www.flickr.com/photos/switchbitchboi/3018709797/
This is the photo that goes with the text.
x
Jacqe
[Reply]
November 28th, 2008 at 9:18 am |
Hi Jacqe,
I believe you and it’s fixed.
It alarms me that someone may have posted your work in the genderfork form without you knowing. But I’m glad we’re able to reconcile it.
By the way, I recieved the submission on November 10th at 8:00 AM Pacific Time, U.S. — for your records.
Thanks for reading the site
Best,
Sarah
[Reply]
October 15th, 2010 at 1:18 am |
I deeply identify with this. I am going through a difficult bout of insomnia currently. I feel I am too unresolved to let myself rest. And it’s really only when everyone’s asleep that I have the opportunity to throw on my mother’s makeup, not really knowing what I’m trying to achieve. I feel so desperate because I feel like I’ve been given a destination without a map.
[Reply]