Afraid to talk about gender.

sarah e wrote…

Sometimes I’m afraid to talk about gender – as a cisgendered person, how can I ever know I’m not putting my foot in my mouth? There’s no real substitute for first-hand experience, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing I knew what others’ gender experiences felt like from the inside.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on April 21st, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 4 comments »

4 Responses to “Afraid to talk about gender.”

  1. Kate_Sloan

    I get this – as a person living very comfortably within my assigned gender, I sometimes feel like I don't have a place in the genderqueer community, despite the fact that many of my friends are GQ & I'm very interested in the subject. I think the most important thing, when it comes to avoiding foot-in-mouth disease, is asking people if you're unsure about anything. Ask them what pronouns they prefer, what labels they use, when they first knew they were genderqueer, etc. Most people will be happy you asked.


  2. scc

    I am so female that I can't wrap my brain around how someone could feel non-gender. My daughter has declared herself genderqueer and I am finding it very difficult to understand. I don't really care what she is, but I do want to try to understand. I do not badger her about, but she is still very defensive if I make any comments or ask a question. I'm sooo confused.


    Rory_Z replied:

    Your child probably needs some time to let things digest and feel more comfortable with discussing gender identity with you. Try to not it personally. Maybe a letter could be a good way to communicate that way you both can take the time to word things carefully. I personally find it hard to discuss super sensitive issues in person, face to face in the beginning without getting all emotional and having some things being said that I'd wish wasn't said and so on.. Just an idea?


  3. Rory_Z

    Best way is to just not assume/make assumptions. Just take the time to ask, listen, and discuss. As long as you're open and not being judgmental, you'll learn :)


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