Profile: Johnny

You can call me… Johnny

I identify as… Male. I have always identified that way, I just thought everyone else was crazy, or that I would be locked in an insane asylum when I was older, but neither has happened yet. Some people attempt to force the labels of transgender/sexual onto me, however, I believe that my body’s change(s) are only physical and scientific and are part of a disorder/condition, NOT my brain “changing.” I will also always be Native. No matter how I identify I cannot change the fact that I am descended from Indigenous people.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Male/masculine ones only. I call you how you wish, then I expect the same respect back.

I’m attracted to… Men. And some women. I like men but not particularly feminine ones. I don’t know how to express my giddiness when I have a crush on one of them (especially if I read them as being possibly straight and stereotypically masculine). I’m still learning.
Shorter is better. Being a smaller guy it is hard when you must crane your neck to admire the person whom you desire. This is especially obnoxious with men.
I like people who will acknowledge that I have some form of sexual desire. My current girlfriend seems to ignore this and only wants to see certain parts of me and this hurts.
Stimulating conversation about mundane and/or amazing things is always good. I can never do without that at one time or another.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Not treat me as some sort of token. I want to them to see that there are many aspects of me, and even if I don’t share all of them, that they are just as important and still there. People who won’t look down on me because of my heritage, who won’t look down on me because of my mental health. And especially people who won’t take my weaknesses and turn them into gossip.

I want people to understand… That I am not some sort of screwball for saying that I think that Gender Identity Disorder is a perfectly acceptable diagnosis. I think that physically it defines me. Male in female body. I have always been male, therefore I keep the company of men, not trans people. I am not a trans person in mind, only in body. I want people to respect my level of “stealth.” I am not doing it intentionally; I just am not a trans person. I also want people to know that I can live with a diverse variety of people, even though I come off as hardass. Maybe if they stop looking for the Mad Indian and start looking for the afraid being who doesn’t know where to go for help, they will start thinking/seeing more humanely.


About Johnny
I’m just another slightly weird person inhabiting the multiverse. Maybe I’m crazy, maybe I’m not; I don’t know. I want to be something better than I am now, but what that is I don’t know. Personally, I think it is rather ego-pumping to put my website/blog on here but here ya go eh. If ya don’t like it, well…. I didn’t click the link for ya did I? ;)


» Define yourself. «

Posted by on September 13th, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: profiles 6 comments »

6 Responses to “Profile: Johnny”

  1. Lilybean

    We’re all crazy in some way :)

    I agree wholeheartedly with your entire “I want people to understand” box. My ‘label’, when it comes down to it, is (trans)girl. The ‘trans’ bit is only parenthetical so that whoever’s asking can understand my troubles and joys and past without my gender being ‘transgirl’.

    Oh and, you sound interesting and awesome, I’m a little sad we didn’t have a pic too :)


  2. Johnny

    I must say, I’m absolutely shocked someone wrote back….


  3. Tristian

    Oh, please, you can’t possibly think that no one would respond to this.
    I even had to say something, and I never respond.
    It hurts when people only see certain parts of you.
    I think there are many aspects of everyone; some there, some not.
    Looking down on people is lame.
    Weaknesses should never be gossip.
    Maybe only they see the mad Indian; other people don’t.


  4. Johnny

    I just never expect any sort of attention, any sort of acknowledgement. I guess it’s a bit of a knee jerk reaction, because I’ve grown up knowing that sympathy is just a disguise for the worst kind of hatreds and pity. In reality I’m sure it isn’t, but I wish I didn’t know how bad it can be. Sometimes ignorance/naivette is really bliss.


  5. Tristian

    You should.. You’re interesting.. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes, but only sometimes..


  6. Johnny

    Indeed. Only sometimes ;)


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