Queer to me.

Someone wrote…

I think a significant part of why I’m attracted to boys is because I (secretly) identify as one to some extent, and the ones I’m attracted to have qualities that I would like to possess if I lived as male. In this way it feels queer to me even though to other people (and even to some of these boys themselves) it might be perceived as straight.

How do we define queer? Is queerness an inclusive concept or an exclusive concept? How does the concept of queer interface with reality.

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on May 23rd, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 5 comments »

5 Responses to “Queer to me.”

  1. IdentityTBD

    I lived the fantasy that I was a straight man for most of my life. Even now, old friends and family are confused at my "voluntary" queer identification, as if I'm handing them back the keys to the good life. Little do they know….


  2. syd

    yes! that is a perfect description of something I have been trying to put my finger on for awhile now


  3. scout

    I am queer female, married to a bio male. Although our relationship from the outside looks like a traditional heterosexual one, the way we relate to each other sexually is more queer than any other relationship I've ever had, regardless of gender. And although he id's as a straight male, he has not only accepted my gender issues, he was the one who finally pulled me kicking and screaming into accepting and making peace with them myself.


  4. CW

    This is exactly how I feel, except I am biologically male, and am attracted to women in a similar fashion as the poster is to men. I’ve never in my life identified with being a man, and I’ve gravitated towards women I find to have desireable qualities – not just as someone I find attractive, but qualities I wish I had.

    I guess I’m new to exploring my own gender identity, as i’ve just started to think outside the binary and consider that I may be some kind of genderqueer, but this just
    hits it on the head for me. As for what it means to
    be queer, I’m not sure. I feel unqualified to answer that beyond saying that despite the fact that I identify as straight, it’s hard to feel that way when I find that I don’t feel like a “man.”.


  5. Anonymous

    Me too!


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