Question: Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Boifriend?

Argo asks…

Is there a gender-neutral equivalent to boyfriend or girlfriend? I am dating someone for the first time since I have been recognizing myself as a genderqueer boidyke, and “girlfriend” doesn’t fit. But “lover,” “significant other,” “partner,” and other politically correct words sound dry, or make it sound as if we are in a much more committed relationship than we are. Is there an alternative?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on December 20th, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 57 comments »

57 Responses to “Question: Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Boifriend?”

  1. Lleucerys

    I was thinking about this the other day and the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” came about when people started thinking that you could be friends with your (hetero) significant other- well, according to Lacy Green:–AcYR6axgA . Women of an older generation (see: my mother and her friends haha) tend to talk about their friends as their “girlfriends”. So boyfriend = significant other, girlfriends = friends. This system doesn’t work when you add a dash of queer. It also implies that you only have one guy friend or that that’s implicitly sexual (or vise versa, but I haven’t heard it used that way).

    In current use, these terms have a nice, young-a bit casual-but decidedly in a relationship-sound. Picked apart they don’t make a lot of sense though. I’d like something else with a similar to enter the vernacular I guess.


  2. Lleucerys

    similar meaning*


  3. Anonymous

    I’m genderqueer and my girlfriend calls me her nerdfriend. Its pretty adorable.


  4. littleghost

    i think “mate” might be cute idk


  5. liontalking

    I like the progression of “date” for casual, “date-mate” for more serious, then “mate” for committed relationship.


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