Question: Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Boifriend?
Argo asks…
Is there a gender-neutral equivalent to boyfriend or girlfriend? I am dating someone for the first time since I have been recognizing myself as a genderqueer boidyke, and “girlfriend” doesn’t fit. But “lover,” “significant other,” “partner,” and other politically correct words sound dry, or make it sound as if we are in a much more committed relationship than we are. Is there an alternative?
Please post your response in the comments below.
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Category: questions 57 comments »
December 3rd, 2012 at 9:25 pm |
I was thinking about this the other day and the terms “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” came about when people started thinking that you could be friends with your (hetero) significant other- well, according to Lacy Green: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–AcYR6axgA . Women of an older generation (see: my mother and her friends haha) tend to talk about their friends as their “girlfriends”. So boyfriend = significant other, girlfriends = friends. This system doesn’t work when you add a dash of queer. It also implies that you only have one guy friend or that that’s implicitly sexual (or vise versa, but I haven’t heard it used that way).
In current use, these terms have a nice, young-a bit casual-but decidedly in a relationship-sound. Picked apart they don’t make a lot of sense though. I’d like something else with a similar to enter the vernacular I guess.
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December 3rd, 2012 at 9:33 pm |
similar meaning*
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April 12th, 2014 at 9:42 pm |
I’m genderqueer and my girlfriend calls me her nerdfriend. Its pretty adorable.
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January 17th, 2015 at 7:20 pm |
i think “mate” might be cute idk
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October 28th, 2015 at 7:14 pm |
I like the progression of “date” for casual, “date-mate” for more serious, then “mate” for committed relationship.
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