Secret double-cross-dresser.

TC wrote…

When I wear dresses I’m always disappointed because I bought or made them thinking of how beautiful they’d look on my (imagined) male body but they look wrong hung up on my (actual) tits. I learned my femininity from gay men, from glitter faggots and punk rock drag queens. But when I wear those clothes, I’m just read as a woman in a dress. When I wear my normal stuff, I’m often read as male or as an androgynous dyke, both places I feel much more comfortable socially. So I’m a secret double-cross-dresser.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 23rd, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 19 comments »

19 Responses to “Secret double-cross-dresser.”

  1. B-Rae

    This resonates. Thank you so much for posting.

    [Reply]

  2. Lanthir

    My older brother could easily have written something like this.
    When he does drag (women’s clothes), he binds, packs, and tries to make sure his boxers are visible. Maybe something like this could help you come closer to the look you’re going for?

    [Reply]

  3. Jenni

    I tend to go for the over-exagerrated feminity – though I still do look like a girl in a dress (which is because I am), I find that if you do it in a over the top, theatrical way (I tend to do very large makeup designs for this) it gives you that edge – a lot of my friends are very subtle in comparison, and it seems to give a different angle to feminity.

    Whether trying that would work?

    [Reply]

  4. C

    I am a bio-fem genderqueer minded person. I feel like a crossdresser when I wear a dress. I sometimes have to, for weddings and other formal occasions (I’m a teacher living in a very intolerant country). I am very conscious about how I walk, stand etc then. I have a feeling that peaple can tell that I’m fake/pretending. When I wear unisex or masculine clothes I don’t feel like a crossdresser. I just get dressed, not crossdressed.

    [Reply]

  5. Aching Blossom

    I can relate. I often dress up with the idea that I am really a feminine man. It confuses me when people just end up thinking I’m a typical feminine woman. Then I remember that technically, I AM a woman. Gaa!

    [Reply]

  6. Nimoru

    This. I keep on feeling like I’m a transwoman. Except for the fact that hay, I’m a biogirl! So yeah, my gender identity is all weirded up. I like it though. ^^

    [Reply]

  7. A.

    I can definitely relate to this. Thank you so much for posting. I am trying to get more comfortable messing with gender more… comfortable knowing that I am cross-dressing when I am in a dress. Hell, I want to shoot burlesque photos… perhaps I will bind when I do so. I don’t know. Whatever I do… I feel comfortable knowing there are more people who experience and feel similar things that I feel.

    [Reply]

  8. Anonymous

    yes, yes, yes! thank you!

    you put it in words i couldn’t find.

    [Reply]

  9. Kashi

    I’ve felt like I was cross dressing on the rare occasion I’ve had to wear a dress. And always weird how well it fit my body and hung off my (real) tits, as if I passed for a girl far too easily despite being bio-female. So, yes! I totally resonate as well.

    [Reply]

  10. Hanna

    Sometimes when I cross-dress I’m read as an biodude (which I once was before surgery and stuff). I find it both disappointing and most invigorating!

    [Reply]

  11. Anonymous

    I definitely understand how this feels… can’t wait to end up able to pull off cross-dressing and still be read as a the man I am!

    [Reply]

  12. Anonymous

    This sounds just like me…my heart throbbed a little reading this. I enjoy Jrock very much and I learn my femininity from them…but I have the same problem. I look like a girl in a dress. But I want to be a boy in a dress.

    [Reply]

  13. Anonymous

    woah…so I’m not the only one who feels like this?
    that’s cool. :)

    [Reply]

  14. Kaisen

    This is true for me also. Thank you for posting this. :)

    [Reply]

  15. Yalen

    Here I was thinking I was the only person who learned how to be “girly” watching videos on YouTube about drag queens. I’d love to wear dresses.. but to be seen as “just” a girl in a dress… it’s not worth it for me. :\

    [Reply]

  16. Taylor Trash

    The last time I wore a skirt sometime last year, I took a photo of it and was told I look like a boy in a dress – despite my VERY obvious 38DD breasts. Bio-fem or not, dresses still feel like drag to me as well.

    [Reply]

  17. Alicanto

    thank you for this post. It’s the first time i meet so many biogirl talking about doing drag queen, i can’t believe it, i’m not the only poor blighter on the earth! To me it’s very frustrating to wear dresses as a act of queering and being read just as a girl. It’s so frustrating that i can’t stand anymore to wear dresses, but i’m soooooo sad about it. It’s just too disappointing to be read “just” as a girl, but at the same time I just HATE to look like a butch, cos i’m excatly THE OPPOSITE inside: a effeminate BOY

    don’t you feel like this?

    [Reply]

    Anonymous replied:

    So, so so much I feel like this. When I feel like a gay boy inside, it makes me so sad I can’t make my body follow…

    [Reply]

  18. randy

    I love crossdressing!!!

    [Reply]


Leave a Reply


Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.


Back to top