Someone wrote…

Do I like “she” because I actually like it, or because I’m used to it? I look like a “she,” but I don’t really know that that’s who I think I am.

How does your physical representation match up (or not) with your internal gender presentation?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on February 25th, 2009 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to ““She.””

  1. raphael

    so what does it mean to look like a “she”?

    you know that you can be (are) whoever you want AND with whatever words, and your appearance doesn’t have to change for your pronouns to? although if you want that, sweet.



  2. jean

    I’ve been “she” for 30 years. in the past few months, all of a sudden, it feels totally weird and not right. (or maybe it always felt weird and I’ve just now let that come to the surface…?)

    in general, people don’t talk about you in the third person when you are standing right there, but it occasionally happens in conversation. now I can kind of predict when it will happen, and I kind of wince inside when I can hear it coming. sometimes a friend will refer to me as a girl or as a woman, in a way that’s meant to be charming, and I can tell it’s totally habitual with them, they don’t even think about it. I don’t really know how to tell people about how I’m feeling, though…

    the best metaphor I can think of so far is this: it’s as if someone were to be talking about you as if you are someone you are not: “oh, chris smith the brilliant mathematician!” and you have to say, “no, you must be thinking of some other chris smith, I can’t even do long division, you’re mistaking me for someone I’m not…” to let them go on talking about how great you are at math would just be incorrect, right? so at some point I’ll need to say something…


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