DSC_4700, originally uploaded by Magdalena Malinowska.

Someone wrote…

A friend of mine told me that he knows a woman, and when her baby was born, she told the doctors not to tell her their gender so she could spend the first moments of their life as just a mother and her baby, not a mother and her son or daughter. She felt it was more important to bond with her child as a person than as a “boy” or “girl.”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

“Lost Boy” submitted by Robert Harper, the model and photographer.

“I feel like a little boy compared to the men around me. Even with (fake) facial hair, I feel like a kid playing dress-up. Not sure if I’ll ever grow up.”

Tomboy- 2/365, originally uploaded by Jen !.

Kypri wrote…

I gendertroll chatroulette. I love how often I get asked “BOY OR GIRL?!” by confused guys wondering whether I have tits they should demand to see.

(I was also inordinately pleased by the one-time “Nice panties, fagboy.” Silly homophobe, that is a compliment to me!)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

“Rediscovery” submitted by Danielle, the model and photographer.

“I just cut all of my hair off the other day. It was originally down to my shoulders. Being bisexual i wanted to become something different. I keep on feeling like this person who doesn’t know what she wants. Cutting my hair was a really big step for me because this is one of my first steps to becoming something new and discovering the other side to my sexuality.  I know it really doesn’t matter how long your hair is or how you dress that defines that, but now i feel like me, i feel good.”

Midnight, originally uploaded by Jo Angel.

You can call me… Evan.

I identify as… a bisexual androgyne. A boy soprano. Queer as a three-dollar bill.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … if there were already an existing singular gender-neutral pronoun (other than “it”) I would prefer that, but I find it as difficult as anyone else to get used to ze/hir or xe/xem. Given a choice between the two sets of gendered pronouns, I prefer either no pronouns or he/him, but as I have no plans to go on hormones, I don’t always try very hard to enforce it.

I’m attracted to… femininity, sometimes (but not always) in a female package. Femme girls and metrosexual or androgynous boys. Intelligence and musical talent are incredibly sexy, and I have a soft spot for nerds.

When people talk about me, I want them to… reflect what I say about myself, in all its complexity and confusion, instead of pigeonholing me into an existing category to make me easier to explain in a couple of sound bytes. (In exchange, I promise to do the same for them.) If they don’t know what I have to say about myself, I want them to ask me first. I am not offended by questions, and I’d rather define myself in my own terms than let other people define me because they’re afraid to ask.

I want people to understand… that sometimes I feel like a boy and sometimes I feel androgynous/genderqueer, and neither of these is a more or less valid state than the other. That feeling “in between” and expressing myself accordingly is neither a phase nor a ploy for attention. That liking some feminine things doesn’t make me a girl any more than it would with a cisman. That changing my name, wearing men’s clothing and even wanting top surgery doesn’t mean I’m trying to be a man — I’m just trying to be myself, whatever that may be. That I’m not trying to pass as anything in particular. That I actually squeal with delight on the inside when someone can’t figure out whether I’m a boy or a girl.

About Evan.
I’m a graduate music student living in New York. I have a high soprano voice and love all kinds of singing — opera, musical theater, choral — and I’ve made a game out of carving out a genderqueer niche in a world where sopranos are all supposed to be princesses.

» Define yourself. «

Marie Claire 1974, originally uploaded by Francesco Paolo Catalano.

“I am Manic” submitted by Jenifa, the model and photographer.

“Basically I feel like I have no gender. This is a photo of what is inside, I am not truly a man, yet I do not feel like a woman.
The ‘I Am Manic’ has many meanings , on one level it’s a ‘so I’m crazy in your eyes, so what.’ statement to those who would judge me in this photo. On another level it is ‘manic’ as in ‘Manic Depression’. “are you a boy or a girl?” “I am an artist.””

Someone wrote…

I wish people would realise that being MtF isn’t about my clothes or makeup. It’s strange how people can look at me on a day when I’m wearing a jeans and t-shirt and say ‘So you’re a boy today?’ Don’t girls wear jeans and t-shirts?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

“Patrick” submitted by Hannah, the model and photographer.

the running man, originally uploaded by a__forest.

Someone wrote…

I just took a major step in direction of my preferred gender expression… I shaved off the beard that’s been my mask for so long. I feel both empowered and exposed.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

“Its not over yet” submitted by Sam, the model and photographer.

plaid, originally uploaded by thisisfurious.

Momo recommends…

I’ve simply fallen in love with Bill Kaulitz – not necessarily because of his music, but because of his utter disregard for gender norms and for his androgyny. He’s a beautiful boy who simply enjoys expressing himself, regardless of the tabloids questioning his sexuality over his eyeliner, long hair, and tight pants.

To see a celebrity—a well-known celebrity—pushing the envelope on gender is refreshing and exciting, especially when he’s doing it on MTV or strutting the runway during Milan fashion week in heels and studded leather.

» Recommend something. «

You can call me… Jenni

I identify as… genderqueer/fluid, whatever I feel like that day, tending towards the asexual more and more often these days, but well – human?

As far as third-person pronouns go, … If I’m wearing make-up, I’ll usually get female. Otherwise, it can be anything, and I don’t really care either way.

I’m attracted to… skinny pretty boys (girls who fit on this borderline are quite nice too, I have to say!), scientists, philosophers, androgyny, people with dark humour, people who understand the fun of playing with gender, geeks.

When people talk about me, I want them to… ask me questions rather than try to work it out for themselves. Understand that even though I think I’m asexual, I still like physical contact in terms of hugs and kisses, because it makes me feel loved. Realise that I’m quite a nice person, honest?

I want people to understand… realise that gender isn’t binary, and that just because I’m wearing a pretty dress and big make-up doesn’t mean that tomorrow I won’t look like a boy. I want them to love this rather than find it a bit weird.

About Jenni
I’m a PhilThe student (Philosophy and Theology, but don’t you love the abbreviation?) with a love of making chainmail, doing arty makeup, acting, writing and webcomics. Oh, and I’m a massive geek.

» Define yourself. «

Androgyny 1, originally uploaded by HuNo (On & Off).

Someone wrote…

It’s gotten to the point where gender is so abstract and unnecessary to me that different genitalia would really only affect the position in which I use the bathroom.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?