You can call me… C, I guess. It stands for Carde, and Carde is just fine too. Carde, for its part, is a nickname for something given to me when I was born. I think my real name is beautiful, but it’s hard for me to say it aloud.

I identify as… Nothing. I’m really amazed by all the people who can actually tell what they are and where they belong to. And who then carry themselves with overwhelming pride and comfort. I wish I was among them, but I’m not. For me (at least for now) there’s only this empty feeling of nothing. And nothing is something very hard for one to defend.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … “He” is fine. I may not be able to identify myself at the moment, but I know very well where I’d like to be, and where I have wanted to be for many years already. But for now, “she” has to be okay as well. In a way I think I’m lucky, since there are no gender-specific pronouns in the Finnish language. So your gender doesn’t have to come up in every sentence here and there. Although we have people yelling something like “What’s up girl?” and “Hey dude!” everywhere, like in any language.

I’m attracted to… Boys mostly, now that I’ve given myself a chance to love them too. Still, it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t love my girlfriend with all my heart. I also often feel a need to clarify that I don’t like boys just because they’re boys, or I didn’t fall in love with girls because they were girls. What I see is just some hands, collarbones, legs, backs, hips, head, hair, fingers, knees, eyes, chin, mouth, clothing. I have actual difficulties to see any gender or sex through all the other features. I’m sorry, but I don’t really give a damn.

When people talk about me, I want them to… speak without fear or hesitation. I want them to be able to talk straight to me, to be themselves, act and speak freely. I always thought I’d be an easy person to talk to, so I wonder why it seems to be so hard. I have a great sense of humor, you know, and even the ability to laugh at myself. Don’t be so afraid about the things you’d like to say. It’s pointless: I may not be a very strong person, but if I could break that easily, it would have happened already.

I want people to understand… that even if I went through the trouble of fixing up this silly, frustrating body of mine, I’m not going to die. I know you’re all scared, but telling me how you’re going to miss me for eternity and how you’re loving me just as I am now and not as anything else, makes me feel like I really am dead to you. It’s true that somewhere in the future I might carry a different name (it’s for my parents to decide), I might look different, sound different, even act very differently. But I think it’s just something similar to growing up. I will still be me. I’m nothing new, I have still been born.
It’s like Coupland wrote in Little Creatures, if you’ll allow a quote: “I realize that my own nature — the core me — essentially hasn’t changed over all these years. When I wake up in the morning, for those first few moments before I remember where I am or when I am, I still feel the same way I did when I woke up at the age of five.”

About C
I’m a 22-year-old fool living in a polyamorous relationship, studying the history of arts in the University of Jyväskylä, Finland. I’m very clumsy and loving, shy and scared. I’m a lousy street dancer but I love to dance. I’m a writer and a failure as a filmmaker. I’m really into parkour. I try to go forward as fast as I can by using my legs, bicycles, motorcycles, snowboards, skates, anything to feel the rush. I’m obsessed with experiencing the thrill of falling.

» Define yourself. «

Submitted by Zeb, the model and photographer.

“I was Cry Baby (from the John Waters movie) for Halloween. It’s one of those rare occasions where you can dress up in a different gender and it’s deemed “acceptable,” even cute sometimes.”

Someone wrote…

I have come to see my gender balance as a spiritual balance.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Steve Strange , originally uploaded by juliaa5.

Jen asks…

I don’t hate my penis, I’m just indifferent to it. Does that make me less of a woman?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

172 of 365, originally uploaded by Rebecca V.

Someone wrote…

I can say without hesitation that I’ve always felt right in this body. My genderqueerness is all about my mental gender-self. So it feels right, if wildly uncomfortable, to be in this body and pregnant. There’s no conflicted feelings, it’s just weird to be experiencing this “pinnacle” of womanhood mentally. I suppose I thought that it might make me feel more womanly or something. But no. I still feel just as neutral, my body is just doing one of the many things it was built for. Just like wrasslin’ and running.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted by James, the model.

Play on, Playa, originally uploaded by theycallmetelly.

Submitted by Livia, the model. Photography by sister, Leticia.

2nd Victorian and XVIII Century Pic-Nic, originally uploaded by Archie Dandelion.

Someone wrote…

I self-identify as fabulous.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Dez asks…

I’m at that really awkward stage where I know that I’m trans, I dress like I’m trans, but I haven’t actually come out to everyone. The moment never seems right.

How do I start this conversation with them or with anyone?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Submitted by Karl, the model and photographer.

You can call me… Gee.

I identify as… genderqueer, regular queer, androgynous, femme, a fag, a dyke, a feminist, a writer, a disgruntled voter, a baker, occasionally butch, occasionally a boy, and occasionally happy.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I usually use “ze” and “hir” for myself, although I’m fine with “he,” “she,” or “they.”

I’m attracted to… girls of all types, particularly gentle skinny poet butches and punky femmes who look and act like they could beat me up without breaking a sweat.

When people talk about me, I want them to… smile.

I want people to understand… that genders are like clothes, and I’ve got a closet full of ’em.

About Gee.
Gee lives in Canada and writes a lot of nonsense on the Internet, some of which can be found at ishyface.livejournal.com. Ze likes long walks but has never much cared for the beach.

» Define yourself. «

, originally uploaded by `! SHUAIJIAN.

DSC_0272, originally uploaded by Asher MacArthur-Grimm.

Activist and writer Riki Wilchins performs The MANgina Monologues.

You can call me… George. Not yet a name I use in real life, but nevertheless my hero from Nancy Drew. I always envied how easily she “got away” with being masculine.

I identify as… female, but not a woman or feminine; gay, but not lesbian; androgynous in presentation; butch-leaning, and even masculine, but not male-identified; tomboy; athlete; student; queer; curious; questioning.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I don’t really have any preference one way or the other. I’m pretty used to getting female pronouns. Occasionally I’ll get male, but once I speak it becomes clear I’m female and the pronoun is corrected. It used to bother me, getting male pronouns, but now I’m flattered that I can unintentionally pass so well. Call me whatever you like; that you’re using “sir” or “ma’m” implies respect and so I’ll never get mad.

I’m attracted to… androgyny. Those on the butchier, more masculine, end of the spectrum. And tomboys. The occasional femme, and the occasional very androgynous male (e.g. Adam Lambert. I love him and that love makes me so confused).

When people talk about me, I want them to… not care. I’m slightly different from “the rest of the girls” but I always have been, and for the most part always will be. It’s not something I have a problem with. Ignore my clothes and speak to me–if you’re a guy, especially, recognize that we have more in common than you think.

I want people to understand… I’m not “out” in the traditional sense. I believe I will always identify as “questioning” because issues of gender and sexuality never came easily to me. If you ask, I’ll tell you, but don’t expect me to volunteer the information to you. I just present as myself and, while I’d be happy to answer your questions, I don’t believe I have to open that particular door myself. I’m getting more and more comfortable with myself as the years go on, but I don’t know that I’ll ever be “there”—as if I even knew where I was going. I believe I can still have the “traditional” family life with a wife, or whoever I find, and have kids, etc. I’m looking to go places and break barriers, and let the sexuality and gender chips fall where they may.

About George
George is adept at speaking in the third person. She’s a college student in Philadelphia who also spends time in the Midwest. She hides behind several facades, but would love to get to know YOU. She loves sports, politics, debates, photography, music, and spontaneity. She can’t exaggerate how much she enjoys meeting people who either are, or have been, in her shoes. She would love if you contacted her at georgewithquestions (at) gmail.com so she can get to know you.

» Define yourself. «

, originally uploaded by kyliecdtv.