A choice.

Someone wrote…

The other day, for the first time, someone asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I lied— but I feel so inexpressibly happy that they gave me a choice.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on June 30th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 10 comments »

10 Responses to “A choice.”

  1. Ronen

    The first time someone asked me, I freaked and said something completely different from the truth. It wasn’t a deliberate lie, but a snap reaction because I wasn’t prepared for the question. It amuses me to think how flustered I got. I’m ready for the question now and I totally embrace the choice.


  2. Kim

    No one has ever asked me. People look at my gender presentation (and/or hear “trans”), and make up their own minds. It’d be nice to not have my pronouns once again assigned to me by others (whether preferred at the time or not).


  3. Mym

    The first time someone asked if they should be calling me by another name I didn’t have an answer at all, but it made me _so happy_ they’d asked… and I think that’s what pushed me over into finally figuring it out.


  4. kendall

    My friends have been asking a lot lately, I say “she” is okay for now…because I’m afraid of rocking the boat and making things awkward if its temporary, so lastnight I said “if I’m CLEARLY being a boy, then yes call me Kendall…if I’m not binding, I guess it doesn’t matter what you call me” It’s more I don’t want to get used to it if it’s not going to be permanent


  5. jessez

    this is a great quote, what a totally universal experience & you summed it up so well! this is different, but when i first was coming out–certainly had come out to myself–i found myself in a group of women discussing which boys at our workplace were attractive. and one of the group turned to me and said, “Or what girls, if you prefer?” & it was so nice & normal & exciting to feel SEEN and yet i was like, “umm whatever, i guess matt is hot.” !!!


  6. A

    No one has ever asked me either, and I really wish they would. I use my preferred pronoun (“they”) in my Facebook statuses, but so far all I’ve gotten is people saying that it’s insane to call myself that.


  7. Me

    I can relate so much. I was just so surprised at even being asked.


  8. Jack

    This happened to me for the first time today, and damn, did it feel fabulous. Right on, yo.


  9. CJ

    Isn’t it a wonderful feeling though? I was asked a bunch this weekend while at a Pride event, it made me so happy to hear strangers call me by my chosen name and preferred pronouns and to not have to keep hearing them accidental go “Caroly…uhh…I mean..” or “she’s just. Crap. I mean he. He goes by he now. Not she. He. Sorry.” Thanks for telling everyone around me that I’m not male :P


  10. peat

    A bit late in commenting, I suppose, but am I ever glad my first language does not have gender-specific pronouns.


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