How to exist as myself.
Coury wrote…
I can’t figure out how to exist as myself. I love gender. I hate having one. What does one do with that?
What’s your experience?
Posted by julian on July 11th, 2010 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 8 comments »
July 11th, 2010 at 9:32 am |
If you find out, tell me.
[Reply]
July 11th, 2010 at 10:00 am |
^ ditto ^
[Reply]
July 11th, 2010 at 10:10 pm |
You know, I love the various aspects of gender too. The issue comes with the fact that I don’t like having to permanently conform to one because people aren’t so rigid like that.
[Reply]
July 11th, 2010 at 10:49 pm |
That’s my problem as well. It helps a bit to think of gender as something I play with on occasion, not something I’m rooted to.
[Reply]
July 13th, 2010 at 11:06 am |
It’s called being bigendered. Basically just do your thing. You dress and act and feel however you want and don’t worry about it dear =]
I had the same issue for a long time and then I thought to myself, “well what’s stopping me? I don’t need rules!”
So somedays I dress, act, and refer to myself as a male and sometimes I’m female… and there are days when I’m a mix somewhere in between. Just don’t think about it too much =]
[Reply]
July 14th, 2010 at 3:25 am |
Well, out of personal experience: just do what you feel.
Although society label every act, item of clothing, verbal and personal expression, they actually DON’T belong to one gender only (the proof is cultural variety: so many cultures around the world don’t share our “genderization” of acts and behaviours, not to mention the clothing!).
If I analyse behaviours of myself, I can easily tell that some of them aren’t “typical” of my gender, and most people would consider them “deviant” from the standard gender pattern set for me in society. Though, I don’t feel them as deviant at all. That’s mostly because I mesure their level of deviancy in respects to myself, and not social standards. Anything I do, that’s what I am like. It’s a matter of personal inclination and nature in my opinion. I consider myself my own gender in regards to this, and not because I don’t identify with any of the existing labels, but because I don’t consider my gender the supreme leader of my choises and my ways to be. There’s more than that in my bahaviour: my ideals, my preferences, my tastes, my personal view on reality and life. That’s much more complex than just my gender.
You have your own personality and inclinations, as everybody else, gender stereotypes don’t really matter that much if you keep that in mind. Society might not be happy with that, but at least you will be in peace with yourself. That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?
Goodluck!
[Reply]
July 26th, 2010 at 4:34 pm |
You expressed what I think, deep down, more clearly than I ever could. I love self expression. I wish no gender existed. I want to wake up every day, with the hair length that matchs the outfit I pick out, or doesn’t if I don’t want it to. I would change language so no pronoun existed, and I didn’t feel as though I have to answer a question that doesn’t apply to me. None of the labels work, and I’m afraid to be happy however I can because I don’t have questions people ask. Gender isn’t just fluid – identity is too. Thank you.
[Reply]
October 9th, 2011 at 11:18 am |
AgpIoTcU
[Reply]