I’m not sure.

Someone wrote…

Sometimes I’m not sure whether I feel more like a masculine girl or a feminine boy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 12th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 12 comments »

12 Responses to “I’m not sure.”

  1. Cat

    I know the feeling—but if it’s what’s in your heart, there’s no reason why you can’t be both!


    Elle replied:

    Very true!


  2. Beck/Oliver

    I know this feeling quite well.


  3. elias

    Agreed. It took me a long time to realize that I can be an FTM Fairy Prince. It’s beautiful (and often sparkly).


  4. anne

    Me too. Sometimes I feel like a masculine girl who wishes she were born a feminine guy. I’ve got plenty of masculinity and femininity both!


  5. Libby

    Me too! It makes me wonder what being either of those things actually means. I’m starting to think they can mean whatever you want them to.


  6. radical/rebel

    masculine girl/feminine boy

    why can’t we move beyond this dichotomy? there’s genuinely nothing useful to be had in assuming that you either ARE a girl (with some weird gender modification) or you ARE a boy (with some weird gender modification). don’t be any of these things. be genderless, be genderqueer, be fabulous, be dapper, be whatever works for you and your specific gender identity.


  7. Jessica

    I was born a child
    Then I was a masculine man
    Then I was a man
    Then a feminine man
    Then I was a woman
    Then I was a feminine woman

    This ain’t evolution
    It’s a pendulum
    Wound way up in my soul
    It is one of the winds in my soul
    That refuses to stay stuck
    Where others say it ought to be

    Someday I’ll be allowed to be the person
    I always was
    And then I will know me
    for the first time.


  8. Jake

    Me too.


  9. j

    Yes. In my head it’s only okay to be pretty if I’m a boy, or strong if I am a girl, when I do it, for some reason. This is the body I have, and I’m okay with it, but my perception of my own beauty and strength and all the things tied into those things is still affected by others’ perceptions.

    That doesn’t make sense. Here, this might:

    I don’t want you to tell me I’m a beautiful girl, because that feels like a lie. I want you to tell me I’m a beautiful boy. Because my beauty is more masculine, as defined by society. I am not that beautiful girl, I do not have the figure, the hair, the lips, the nose.

    I don’t want you to tell me I’m a strong man, because that feels like a lie. I want you to tell me I’m a strong woman, because my strength is more feminine, as defined by society.

    I can make the leap of comfort, acceptance, within myself, but I still feel the judgement of the norms I grew up with.


    Jessica replied:

    @j Yeah, there’s an awful lot of who we are that comes from growing up. I suffered under many handicaps until I figured out that much of my concept of “husband” and “father” were defined by me when I was four years old (which is how old I was when my father died). That little kid is still inside me. So’s the teenager and the young adult. Half a century isn’t really a long time, not when there’s a whole crowd of you in your head to share all those years.


  10. Anonymous

    This is me!


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