I still feel just as neutral.

Someone wrote…

I can say without hesitation that I’ve always felt right in this body. My genderqueerness is all about my mental gender-self. So it feels right, if wildly uncomfortable, to be in this body and pregnant. There’s no conflicted feelings, it’s just weird to be experiencing this “pinnacle” of womanhood mentally. I suppose I thought that it might make me feel more womanly or something. But no. I still feel just as neutral, my body is just doing one of the many things it was built for. Just like wrasslin’ and running.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on November 20th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 14 comments »

14 Responses to “I still feel just as neutral.”

  1. Samson

    Thank you so much for sharing! I am so curious and so apprehensive about experiencing this. I’m coming to be at peace with my body, but I’m not sure what kind of wrenches pregnancy would throw into that–fingers crossed for the same experience.

    My partner is a transman who seems decently uncomfortable about the idea of himself pregnant, so if we end up staying together, guess it’s up to me. Or adoption.


  2. Anonymous

    I felt a similar way when I was pregnant. I felt a lot of social pressure to celebrate what others understood as an integral part of womanhood. I felt it was neither necessarily integral, nor necessarily womanly. Just a body thing. Thanks for sharing :)


  3. Bean

    Glad to share. It really does feel like a body thing.
    I’m happy, if -very- ready to be done.
    Then I get to be a genderqueer parent. :)

    Someone said to me the other day, “You’re gonna be a daddy soon!” it made me smile and hug them. I don’t think she even knows how I identify. Gotta love that.

    Remember, this pregnancy states temporary. You can even find non-frilly, non pastel clothes. Trust me. NEVER go into maternity stores, you’ll be hyperventilating from the pink. ;)


  4. Sam



  5. Jessica

    Pregnancy is an uncomfortable, dangerous, unsettling and thoroughly uncomfortable condition. If it didn’t result in what is results in, it would be #1 of women’s list of thing they want cured by medical science.


    Jessica replied:

    Not meaning to be offensive… pregnancy is also wondrous, miraculous, satisfying, enthralling, and fulfilling. My earlier comment was just a bit of Rozanne leaking out of me.


  6. Bean

    It’s not dangerous! It’s uncomfortable to be sure but don’t believe the hype on the “danger”.

    I’ve been a breeder all my life, I think there are many who wouldn’t want to get pregnant but those people have that option. So I have to disagree on the pregnancy being cured thing. I know lots of women who -love- being pregnant. I’m just not really one of them. Glad for the experience though.


    Jessica replied:

    Again, not meaning to be offensive… I’d just come from a Transgender Remembrance event, so I was in one of my moods. Please forgive me for any bad feelings.


  7. Adlai

    Congratulations on having a baby! I hope it’s healthy and happy.


    Jessica replied:

    Indeed and seconded. There is no feeling that quite equals that of holding a newborn in your arms.


  8. Bean

    Thanks! Me too.

    My midwife said I’m the only person she’s ever heard say “And if it’s intersex we’ll just go with the boy’s name, it’s more neutral.” lol Apparently most people don’t think in that way.

    And the girl’s name is actually the same as a famous fictional transexual. Hehe.


  9. Bean

    Also, no offense was ever taken. :)


  10. Levi

    This is so awesome. Congrats!! I don’t plan to be pregnant for a good long while (if ever?), but I hope I can feel the same way. (Maybe they’ll even have maternity clothes beyond the femme by then!)

    It doesn’t offend or embarrass me that I can get pregnant… it’s more like having an odd sort of superpower. With great power comes great responsibility, though.


  11. Bean

    You can get gender neutral maternity clothes. You just have to be inventive. I’ve managed some. I’m still wearing a lot of my old stretchier clothes. But if you’ve got a rack like mine there’s no binding that’ll hide them and if you don’t accentuate them you end up looking like a lump. It can be frustrating. So I’ve gone with a form fitting aka boob accentuating undershirt with an open mens style overshirt, worn open. Looks pretty good. Girls -surprisingly enough- still flirt w/ me. Woot.


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