Occasionally forget.

Someone wrote…

There’s something cis, trans and genderqueer people occasionally forget: gender can be an identity or a game, but it should never be a competition.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on June 8th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 17 comments »

17 Responses to “Occasionally forget.”

  1. Cyd

    I totally agree. Some people have picked on me, because I’m not quite comfortable dressing how I want to, because of the stupid small town I live in. Others have picked on me because my gender-epiphany came only recently, and until then, I’d been a cis female, then a transman. It was only when I discovered the word ‘genderqueer’ that I realised who I actually was.

    We are who we are. Gender is a personal experience, and a personal identity.


  2. Lyn Aven

    Goodness, yes. I’ve seen too many “trannier than thou”-type arguments.


  3. Jessica

    I love the “trannier than thou” it’s right up with “Dykier than thou.”


  4. J

    I’m going to throw out “cissier than thou” just because it sounds funny, and because it’s a fun way to describe insecure cismen who overcompensate around queer people.


  5. Nick

    LOL. yeah, ‘cissier than thou’ sounds funny.


  6. Naomi

    It is funny, but you have to make sure not to say it like “sissier”, which is the opposite of what cismen want to be. Lol.


  7. J

    Naomi, the homophone is what makes it funnier, because you get to call them out on being obsessively machismo WHILE calling them sissies just to raz ’em! :D And it’s a HOMO-phone. It’s like a trifecta of language play.


  8. Naomi

    True, true.


  9. Jessica

    @J & Naomi – people after my own heart.


  10. Argo

    The movie Queerer Than Thou



  11. epinards

    y’all are hilarious.


  12. Moose

    I don’t know about you guys, but I am soo trannier than thou. ;)

    It is the same thing with people that first come out, and feel like they must embody the male or female stereotype. The trans guy who is super macho. The trans chick who looks like a June Cleaver wanna-be. I want to hug them and give them a feather boa, or a pair of jeans. I can’t say I didn’t go through it, because that would be a lie, but I made it out the other side. Now, instead of defining myself based upon that one thing (trans guy), I can just be.


  13. Nick

    One thing to remember: just like ‘queerer than thou’ is a bad tactic, so is ‘moe mainstream gay than thou’. Maybe some people seeem over-the-top to you, but are just really being themselves? Maybe radical is their style?

    Gender should not be a competition because a competition has judges. The only one that can judge your gender, is you.


  14. Anonymous

    Well said, Nick.


  15. Lexi

    I agree with Nick!

    Even though I’m pretty high up on the Queer Scale*. It’s just how I roll :P

    *it’s basically a 4-dimensional Kinsey scale.


  16. Anonymous

    we should each love our own identities enough not to police their borders.


  17. nick

    Anonymous (the post right above this one) : perfectly said! You’re going in my little book of awesome quotes.


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