Profile: Evan

You can call me… Evan.

I identify as… a bisexual androgyne. A boy soprano. Queer as a three-dollar bill.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … if there were already an existing singular gender-neutral pronoun (other than “it”) I would prefer that, but I find it as difficult as anyone else to get used to ze/hir or xe/xem. Given a choice between the two sets of gendered pronouns, I prefer either no pronouns or he/him, but as I have no plans to go on hormones, I don’t always try very hard to enforce it.

I’m attracted to… femininity, sometimes (but not always) in a female package. Femme girls and metrosexual or androgynous boys. Intelligence and musical talent are incredibly sexy, and I have a soft spot for nerds.

When people talk about me, I want them to… reflect what I say about myself, in all its complexity and confusion, instead of pigeonholing me into an existing category to make me easier to explain in a couple of sound bytes. (In exchange, I promise to do the same for them.) If they don’t know what I have to say about myself, I want them to ask me first. I am not offended by questions, and I’d rather define myself in my own terms than let other people define me because they’re afraid to ask.

I want people to understand… that sometimes I feel like a boy and sometimes I feel androgynous/genderqueer, and neither of these is a more or less valid state than the other. That feeling “in between” and expressing myself accordingly is neither a phase nor a ploy for attention. That liking some feminine things doesn’t make me a girl any more than it would with a cisman. That changing my name, wearing men’s clothing and even wanting top surgery doesn’t mean I’m trying to be a man — I’m just trying to be myself, whatever that may be. That I’m not trying to pass as anything in particular. That I actually squeal with delight on the inside when someone can’t figure out whether I’m a boy or a girl.

About Evan.
I’m a graduate music student living in New York. I have a high soprano voice and love all kinds of singing — opera, musical theater, choral — and I’ve made a game out of carving out a genderqueer niche in a world where sopranos are all supposed to be princesses.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on May 23rd, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: profiles 5 comments »

5 Responses to “Profile: Evan”

  1. Simon

    Word. Seriously, I feel just like you (minus the musical talent haha) … I definitely could’ve written pretty much all of those responses. Sweet.


  2. Danny

    It’s got its own issues, but THEY is an existing gender-neutral pronoun! (

    I think it would be great if its common usage was expanded so it could be used to refer to anyone without being offensive or odd to the ear. To me, gender-neutral pronouns aren’t just about creating a space where people outside the binary feel more comfortable, but getting rid of constantly needing to divide and classify people as males and females.


  3. Leigh

    Another (in my opinion, fantastic) neutral pronoun is “co.”
    My radical friend used to work in forest service, and the group used “co” exclusively. To show respect and companionship. “Co” as in “comrad,” as best I can guess. It’s an all purpose pronoun too; no weird conjugations. Just “co” straight up. Interchangeable with “they/them/their” and “person.”


  4. B-Rae

    I LOVE the “I want people to understand” bit. So spot on.


  5. Just a person.

    I can’t believe I’m commenting on this so long after it was published but I swear I could have written that. Every word. Just wanted to let you know. If you ever read this- I hope you have a great life and I wish you luck in it.


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