Profile: kitty

You can call me… kitty. Or nothing at all.

I identify as… genderqueer, androgyne, agendered, polyamorous, pansexual, inhuman, invisible.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … everybody uses female pronouns, but each time it’s like a punch in the gut. I would prefer ey/em/eir, they/them/their, it/it/its, and I love the sound of xe/xem/xyr, but I don’t feel comfortable asking for them. My loved ones just call me kitty, and don’t use pronouns.

I’m attracted to… my husband and our boyfriend, and my girlfriend. Compassion, imagination, openmindedness, openheartedness, intelligence, self-awareness, and responsibility. Physically, it’s all over the board, though I have a special soft spot for androgynes, wide hips, flat chests, and anyone who is strong enough to pick me up. Anyone who makes me feel safe.

When people talk about me, I want them to… talk TO me instead. If they must talk ABOUT me, I would prefer it if my gender was left entirely out of the equation, and that they realize that my gender is none of their business.

I want people to understand… that gender is secondary to personhood. That it’s personal enough that it’s not safe to make assumptions. That good intentions don’t eclipse hurtful actions.

About Kitty
kitty is a nobody
kitty paints for a living
kitty likes cats, yes
kitty isn’t short for anything, stop asking
kitty likes you just as you are

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on February 18th, 2010 at 04:00 pm

Category: profiles 9 comments »

9 Responses to “Profile: kitty”

  1. Anonymous

    Your relationships sound like they take so much trust.


  2. ant

    i dont mean this in any sort of sarcastic way or otherwise, but just as an honest inquisition: how do your loved ones refer to you without any pronouns?


  3. Hanna

    You seem to be a fantastic person Kitty.


  4. J

    ant: by just using xyr name all the time. It takes a bit of getting used to, but is easy to do when one slips into the habit.


  5. William

    I used to use no pronouns for my partner. I ended up using no pronouns for anyone half the time :) My partner has settled on “they” or “it” for now and I’m getting used to that.

    I just handed in a religion essay about God that contains no personal pronouns :)


  6. ant

    thank you so much for the answer. Thats great that you’ve figured out a system that works for you. :)


  7. marxistbagel

    It’s so nice to see another polyamorous person on genderfork. It’s really just nice to hear about another poly person in general. :) You sound lovely!


  8. William

    Hi Marxistbagel! Just wanted to chip in as another poly person :) I’m a trans man with a genderless fiance, a trans girlfriend and a cis girlfriend. I love my life and just have to smile at the fact that other guys (and some girls) are jealous of what I have.


  9. Sarah

    Sarah Dopp, founder of genderfork here, self-identifying as poly. *waves*

    I don’t talk about it much, but it’s there.


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