Profile: Renae Ann
You can call me… Renae Ann or Annie. :)
I identify as… someone who just recently came to understand that, despite my male body, deep inside I’m female.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … for here, I’d like being addressed as “she” or “her.”
I’m attracted to… Men and women, but especially funny, intelligent people.
When people talk about me, I want them to… see that, even though I may be coming from a different place than many other people, I am still a person, a person who loves, and cares, and feels.
I want people to understand… I know that it may be difficult to accept me in the way I’ve discovered, I would hope that they can find room for me to allow me to be myself.
About Renae Ann
I’m an older person (it’s been 30 years since I was 25 :) ) who is just now coming to terms with my gender issues.
I’m a father with three adult children and a wife that I love very much…and they know nothing about what I’m going through.
I thought I had dealt with this stuff long ago, but only recently I’ve begun to understand my place in all this…and I have a very long way to go. :)
» Define yourself. «
Category: profiles 7 comments »
July 23rd, 2010 at 6:49 pm |
That is beautiful. Older generations coming out give me comfort to know that we’re not alone in this struggle for ourselves, and really kicks the ass of my parents when they say I’m just going through a phase :)
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July 24th, 2010 at 7:00 am |
A long way to go indeed, but at least you’ve taken the first steps. Thank you for saying this, for having the courage to admit it, and best of luck with everything.
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July 24th, 2010 at 8:50 am |
I also want to wish you good luck. :) I hope you can find a good way to become yourself without upsetting the life you’ve already set up for yourself.
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July 24th, 2010 at 11:17 am |
Many blessings to you Annie. And to your children and your wife. May you all bathe yourselves in the waters of respect and compassion . . may you be free . . may the road rise up to meet you with every step.
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July 24th, 2010 at 5:49 pm |
That’s sweet and encouraging to know that there is no rush to do this or that.
Things work out on their own time don’t they?
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July 24th, 2010 at 9:36 pm |
I’ve seen a lot of people with the fear that if they didn’t ‘know’ who they are as a child or a teenager, their identity isn’t as real or as deep as others. It’s so amazing to see someone come out to themselves in a later stage of life. I wish you the best of luck and hope the people in your life are understanding.
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July 25th, 2010 at 8:38 am |
Annie,
Your post encourages me as well. I am just a little older than you, and I went through the transition you describe a few years back. I live in a small town, and the isolation is deafening, most of the time, especially for someone of our age. Long ago I realized that my real age (inside) had little to do with my chronological age. Unfortunately a large segment of the non-binary gender community are focused on the externals of the youth culture, an attitude which tends to make some of us feel excluded from the gradually rising tide of acceptance.
I too was married and have grown children. In my case my divorce happened over 24 years ago, and having received primary custody of my three boys, I raised them as a single father from diapers thru college. They are the greatest joys in my life.
In coming out to myself, I too had to fumble through the realities of a more fluid gender than what I was used to dealing with within. Also, the various externally and internally imposed categories were a source of excitement, anxiety, and bewilderment. Like you, I concluded that I am attracted not only to men and women both, but that I was usually most attracted to a person, regardless of gender. I also realized that this had been true for me from my teens on. However, growing up in a very conservative family and less tolerant world, I simply repressed the feelings I had for attractive persons of my own sex. This is how I warped my inner self–but no more!
In short (and somewhat too long), I very much empathise with your situation, and I want to reach out to you from the point of view of a kindred spirit to let you know that you are not alone. The world is a beautiful place, and coming out has managed to rejuvenate my life, and discover a new “spring” in the autumn of my life. I wish you the very best, and if this site will allow it, I would love to leave you my email contact, but I will not do so because more than anything, I want to make sure that my coments are not suppressed, so you can receive the vindication which you need and deserve.
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