Question: What’s a “boidyke”?

Shonne Elijah asks…

I’ve seen the term “boifriend” and “boidyke” several times and I was just wondering is “boi” pronounced differently than “boy”? And also, what is the definition (or general idea) of a “boidyke”? I’m just an ignorant kid that wants to know, no offense intended. Thanks.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on February 23rd, 2010 at 04:31 pm

Category: questions 33 comments »

33 Responses to “Question: What’s a “boidyke”?”

  1. Chase

    boi is a term for a woman who presents themselves in a boyish way. They are pretty much the twinks of female queer culture.

    Boifriend is a term one would use for a boi they are dating, but I’ve also seen it used as a more genderqueer way of saying “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”.

    I’m pretty sure boi is pronounced the same way as boy.

    Boidyke is a confusing one for me too. I’ve seen the terms boydyke and guydyke used for lesbian-identified males, but since boi is already a word used for female lesbians, I wonder if boidyke is the same as boi.


  2. Chase

    pardon me, I mean a female who presents themself in a boyish way.


  3. Chase

    looked into it more, and boidyke is just the same as boi.

    I think the trans/genderqueer/queer community is too digital these days. We have words that sound the same but are totally different because of spelling. How will people know in real life if I’m talking about a lesbian male or a boyish female?


  4. Billie

    Chase, I’m sure a lot of them in the queer community would be happy if you mistook a boyish female for a lesbian male. I know I would.


  5. Chase

    oh yeah, so it does kinda make sense then lol
    I guess it kinda works since we like to be a bit confusing to all the non-queer cis-folks


  6. Keanan

    I identify as a boi (specifically a genderqueer trans butch boi). I describe it as a female bodied person who is “boyish” compared to butch which is more “mannish” (if that makes sense). Bois can be genderqueer, bigendered, etc., trans, or a lesbian. I reckon anyone can be a boi if they want to (I don’t want to limit anyone)…

    This is a good article I found on bois and is just interesting in general (it helped me a lot):


  7. Keanan

    I forgot to say that obviously not everything in that article applies to every boi.

    I think this site needs an edit button so we can edit our posts.


  8. Cat

    I think the people above have covered your question pretty well, but just one thing I had to add.

    There is nothing inherently wrong with being ignorant. We are all ignorant, about something or another. And certainly, as we began to seek out other genderqueered people to relate to, none of us just *knew* all the lingo that goes with it. It’s stuff we learn.

    The only thing that’s bad is being *willfully* ignorant.

    Asking questions is always good, because every time you ask a question (assuming you get a reasonably good response), you become a little bit less ignorant.


  9. jean c.

    man, I read that article about bois, or purposing to be about bois, and I found it really disrespectful and exploitative! The author states that one of their interviewees “corrects people who refer to her as ‘she'”, but then continues to call the person “she” for paragraphs!

    It seemed like they just wanted to write a story with some shocking content… Also, they interviewed only a couple of people and then presented their attitudes as characterizing a whole group… pretty bad ‘reporting’. I don’t use the term ‘boi’ for myself, but if I did, I think I would be really offended at being generalized about so drastically. Just as a masculine identified person I am actually pretty offended… yikes.

    One of the commenters, however, mentioned the AP guidelines for referring to transgender people in news stories, and that was an interesting thing to look up! Here y’all go:

    sorry for being a little off-topic!


  10. jean c.

    Keanan, just wanted to say — not criticizing you for linking to the article; but just warning others that it might make them angry!

    I was interested to read it, it was interesting to see the degree of perception, representation, or mis-representation possible by people outside of certain communities… unfortunately the author just did not do a good job of presenting (or maybe even perceiving) the complexities. ah well, new york magazine, what do we expect…

    +1 for an comment-edit button!


  11. Keanan

    Jean C.- Thanks for posting that article. I found it interesting. I agree with you. Identifying as a boi, parts of the article did make me angry. I agree with the pronoun thing, that pissed me off. The author should have interviewed more people because being a boi does not just have to do with sex. That is also why I said that not everything in the article covers ever boi. I appreciate and agree with your opinion (I don’t want you to think I’m being defensive).


  12. Jørgen

    Say, silly question, but still: Can a male be a boi too? Like a man who identifies as a woman who identifies as a boy/boi? Or would that than just be a boy? And what about a heterosexual female? I noticed that the lesbian community has the nasty habbit of monopolizing certain transgender identities. I truly mean no disrespect with that, but as a maleborn-gynophile-wathever-person I felt rather awkward when I found out that ‘Androgyne’ also refers to a certain kind of lesbian girl, a lesbian identity. Anyone has any idea as to why that is?


  13. Andy

    as far as I know, androgyne meant ambiguity. Andro means ‘man’ in latin, and gyne means ‘woman’.

    Also, I’ve only really heard boi be used to refer to transboys/transmen. But then like most terms (especially in the genderqueer community) are pretty loose and people usually choose what they want them to mean in reference to themselves.


  14. Taylor Trash

    In my experience, some femmey boys identify as “bois” as well. I don’t think lesbianism is a requirement to identify as a boi either. I think it’s simply a boy-identified biological female. That encompasses the trans and gq communities, as well as hetero women those of the non-queer variety.

    I could of course just be rambling.

    My male partner calls me his boifriend. He enjoys the confusion it sows. :)


  15. Taylor Trash

    “as well as hetero women AND those of the non-queer variety”

    Here’s another vote for an edit button.


  16. Sarah

    Edit button needed. Got it.


    I’m looking at as a possible comment engine. A bit wary, since our adventures in a few months ago got messy and we lost some data. but might be worth it…


  17. Sarah Dopp

    Testing! I just added a plugin that allows someone 30 minutes to edit their own comment…


  18. Sarah Dopp

    no wait. that didn’t work. hold on. :)


  19. Sarah Dopp



    IT WORKS!!!!


  20. Sarah Dopp

    Doobeedoobeedoo. Okay, so editing your own comments (for about 30 minutes after you posted them) now WORKS!

    – it doesn’t seem to edit the sidebar comment feed. oops.
    – it gave me a funny error that said my comment didn’t update, even though it did. wondering how serious that is… *minorly concerned look*

    While i was at it, I also added the “notify me of followup comments” checkbox, which i’ve used before and works pretty well.

    Test it out! Lemme know if you have any issues!

    Your Friendly Site Poker-Hacker Person


  21. Keanan

    Thanks Sarah.

    It would also be cool to have a thumbs up or something like that. If we agree with someone’s post we can just thumbs up instead of having to write “I agree” unless we have something more to add. I don’t think we should have a thumbs down though because some people might get offended. I don’t know if this is possible though.

    Thanks again.


  22. Cat

    Keanan – Should be possible. I’ve seen forums that have a “Thanks!” button, or something of the like. I’m sure there must be something out there like that. I’m sure Sarah will find it. :)

    To the above – I also took the time read the article. I’m not a boi, or a lesbian for that matter, but there were some REALLY big generalizations and negative characterizations in there. I’m not really sure what to think of it.


  23. Andy

    I’ve read that article too, and there some things in there that made me see red for a few minutes. (Anyone else get that confused feeling of homophobia from the LGBT community in there?) Anyway, does anyone know of articles/sites that actually have valid information on the topic? I definitely want to learn more because that’s just what I do…


  24. Sarah

    Adding to this pile: if anyone would like to *write* a better article, I’d be happy to run it here, as long as its in line with the supportive/celebratory tone of our site. It will go through a round of editing with our staff, but we’ll get it up for the world to the see as soon as possible.

    Ditto for other topics. We can’t pay, but we can give you a big relevant megaphone.

    Email me: sarah at genderfork dot com



  25. Anonymous

    I would be so fantastically interested to read what a genderforker wrote on that topic! Good idea!!!!


  26. Meike

    @andy: Definitely. I think GLBTQ individuals can be as bad as non-GLBTQ people, if not worse. Additionally, I was considering identifying as a boi until I read that article, and am now struggling with how I will define that term in the future. Other genderforkers’ perspectives would be awesome to read.


  27. Keanan

    I regret posting that article. It appears that was not the best choice. I’m sorry. There really is a lack of info about bois on the web. I would write an article because I identify as one but I don’t know what to write and I don’t know any other bois. I appreciate who ever will write this article.


  28. Meike

    Not that we’re judging you based on the article, Keanan! There just doesn’t seem to be a lot of great information out there.


  29. Andy

    @Meike: That really depresses me…. As for identifying as a boi… I don’t know if I was considering it, but I do know that I’m a masculine individual in a female body… I’m currently working at learning about more that identify as that so I can try to better determine what I am how I feel about certain things. If I can’t find reliable sources, I’m going to have a harder time saying “ah… This, this is not me, but I feel something akin to that.”


  30. Cheryl Auber

    I`M A BOI


    Dody Sysico replied:



    Cheryl Auber replied:

    Because its what I feel inside and I feel I am a Boi and wanting to transition,I`m bipolar also and none of my relationships have ever lasted long,I tend to be with over size women


  31. Mr.Cheryl Auber

    I am a Boi


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