The worst position to be in.

Someone wrote…

Everyone wants me to choose a “side” as fast as possible. Unfortunately, even the genderqueer/pansexual folks I know. Nobody can stand that I’m not sure, that I’m “still exploring,” still growing. In this case, I don’t perceive the absence of a binary, it’s simply mutated. This feels like the worst position to be in, but the hardest to find an honest escape from.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 21st, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 5 comments »

5 Responses to “The worst position to be in.”

  1. Jessica

    Yeah, not only are you guilty of being different, but you’re assumed to be condemning others by not putting yourself in their bucket. “What’s wrong with being Panechgendraphillic, I am and so should you!” (I made it up and don’t know what it would mean)

    Why can’t people who should know better just let you become whatever it is you feel like today?


  2. Jenn

    Personally, I am always amazed at how even people within the LGBTQ/OGSM (outside gender/sexual mainstream) still hold on to that ‘black-and-white’ thinking when they have to live beyond the stereotypical ‘black and white’ world themselves.. just goes to show that even us ‘explorers’ and ‘others’ still have that inherent need to label people for definition, even if that label means that they can’t be defined so easily..

    You are you, and you should enjoy the journey of life. It IS about the journey, the exploration, and the finding. If you ever get to a point where you feel like you are 100% ‘found’ and will never change, what’s the point of living since the journey is done?

    Ignore the sides… It’s difficult, but just do what makes you feel like YOU. If that’s a different gender, sexuality, personality, etc. every day, so what? At the end of the day, the only one whose opinion truly matters is yours. I’m in the same boat, and not choosing or having to explain why I can’t/won’t choose is not fun, but when I do right by me, it’s worth it.


  3. Mathias

    Weird… Just having this conversation last night about schisms within the queer community. You would think that we would find a way to band together, but no. We fight over who is ‘queerer than thou’, or we fight about trans people, and whether they have a right to exist, or just what the movement should be, or even what letters we should use and in what order.

    …That makes me really sad at times.


  4. Milo

    Yeah, I’m sorry! :( I’ve been told I’m faking it sometimes because apparently “bi is the express train to gay,” and I haven’t come out as gay yet (do you ever think it’s because I’m not??). Amazingly, it’s all LGBT people who tell this to me. Sort of sad, not that I don’t love them, but it can be frustrating at times when people refuse to see the beauty in infinite complexity that’s right before them, or within them if they’d look.


    Jessica replied:

    I find that the least accepting of genderqueer or transwomen are biological female lesbians, with the possible exception of fundamental religious idiots.


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