Archive for June 2011

Question: Removing Facial Hair

A reader asks…

Even freshly shaved, it’s obvious that I have the ability to grow facial hair. And with that comes being called “he” and “sir”. Any Tips for shaving the face?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on June 24th, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 17 comments »

Profile: Alex

You can call me… Alex

I identify as… Androgynous, genderqueer, lesbian, black, youtuber, lover… a combination of the aforementioned plus more

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Mostly female are the ones I usually get, the occasional”sir” or “dude” makes my heart smile. My name works just fine as well. Just don’t call me with “yo” or a “you there” and I’m a-ok

I’m attracted to… Feminine masculinity and masculine femininity, preferably in the form of female- bodied people if we’re speaking romantically. I’m attracted artists, healers, intelligence, and the creatives. And of course my gay best friend

When people talk about me, I want them to… leave bullshit at the door. I’m not confused and it’s not a phase; I know who I am and I love it

I want people to understand… that I am different and respect me for it, not shun me for it

I’m not always a girl yet I’m not a boy and I think that is really cool. You shouldn’t associate with me because of my gender, sexuality, or ethnicity; you should because you like the person I am

About Alex
I’m a prodigal son in the best way possible. Exploration, food, and education outside the classroom are my life loves. I live in sunny SoCal working to become someone that runs into burning buildings for a living, I’ll let you know how that turns out
I enjoy a good beer and a beautiful skyline and it seems I have verbal diarrhea now so I’ll stop while I’m ahead

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on June 23rd, 2011 at 04:00 pm

profiles | 2 comments »


Untitled, originally uploaded by sheysatan.

Posted by on June 23rd, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | 9 comments »

Lost sheep

Someone wrote…

I have finally found my true gender but i feel like such a late bloomer and there are things i still don’t know. I feel like a lost sheep.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on June 23rd, 2011 at 08:00 am

your voice | 6 comments »

Question: Female Genderqueer

A reader asks…

I’m female-bodied. After not thinking about gender much for most of my life, I’m beginning to wonder if part of me is genderqueer. But the other part of me still feels like a girl. Is that even possible? Am I just a girl who’s overreacting/seeking attention/trying to be different?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on June 22nd, 2011 at 04:00 pm

questions | 29 comments »

Grace Jones

Grace Jones, originally uploaded by Douglas C..

Posted by on June 22nd, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Gender Heroes: Interview With Jiz Lee

Jiz Lee

Jiz Lee, photographed by Shilo McCabe


On this episode of Gender Heroes, we’re interviewing Jiz Lee! Lee is a genderqueer porn star who strives to educate people about their sexuality and creates stunning images of androgynous beauty. They are the founder of Karma Pervs (NSFW), a “philanthropic porn experiment” that raises money for a different charity each month. Lee has also modeled for Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School, recreating such characters as Spider Jerusalem and a pro-sex worker take on Jack the Ripper.


Genderfork: How would you describe your gender identity?

Jiz Lee: Genderqueer! In general, I prefer neutrality in my presentation (including the neutral pronouns “they/them”). My father describes my expression as gender-neutral and I would agree with him on this. However, I also feel that my gender is fluid and can sometimes be expressed through extravagance. The times when I am most aware of my gender is when it is queered. Furthermore, because I am a performer, there are multiple levels to my gender expression. In fact I am sometimes more genderqueer in the adult work that I do, whereas my day-to-day life is more causal and gender-neutral.

Genderfork: Did you “always know” your gender or was it a process?

Jiz Lee: I don’t think I can ever know my gender. I think it’s a process that is either continuously performed (usually subconsciously) or re-presented through media element, such as documented images, video, or written stories. I think that “knowing my gender” or being “aware” of my gender is a process that sometimes correlates to how I identify and sometimes strikes discordance. “I” may know that I am genderqueer; however, how I am perceived by others influences my gender performance whether I want it to or not.

Genderfork: Have you ever felt pressure to change your gender presentation? How did you deal with it?

Jiz Lee: Feeling pressure to be more cisgender is something that happens daily. In terms of the adult work I do, I see this pressure in the way performers are portrayed. For example, mainstream media likes to accentuate cisgender behavior and appearance. Indie media can be somewhat more lenient, although it is also subject to such pressures — or pressures to play up queer signifiers within gender. Here the differences in gender and sexuality bounce off notions of what it means to “look” [like] a sexuality.

As a performer it’s up to me to decide how far I allow any pressure to influence my decisions, and I think this is what most defines my work. For example, one very common cultural gender signifier is body hair. I enjoy the flexibility of doing what I like with my hair, whether it’s hair on the face, chest, crotch, armpits, legs, etc… It can be shaved, waxed, lasered, trimmed, sculpted, dyed, bleached, natural, etc… Regardless of what I decide to do with my hair, what matters to me is that the choice is my own to make, and that the reasons I make this choice are not prescribed by external pressures related to ideal beauty standards, especially if they involve shame. It’s important to me that if my hair is accentuated, even for the play of it being “dirty” or “extreme” that I own the pleasure of that enactment. That’s where some porn can be empowering while another can be objectifying. The difference is context.

Genderfork: How does your work challenge people’s views on gender? What kind of responses have you had?

Jiz Lee: My work challenges people’s views on gender because I bring my sexuality genuinely to the shoot. I feel confident in my body and its presentation, and performing in adult work has actually helped me to explore and accept my body. For example, when I was younger I identified as transgender, and, though I was sexually confident, I was hesitant in how my body might be displayed or read by others when it was naked because of the feminine aspects. However, my belief that our gender is not solely based on how we appear lead me to overcome this negative body image.

I don’t think a trans body necessarily HAS to be one that involves hormones, surgery, or positioning (aka binding/padded bras, etc). Bodies certainly CAN, of course. However, ultimately it’s how the person feels about their body and how they choose to express it. So for me, allowing my body to be as it was felt like the best way I could portray my gender.

The responses I have [had] vary. I have received responses from genderqueer, trans, fluid, and variant people who are extremely appreciative and supportive of my work. It validates their own experiences and desires, and that in turn informs my own exploration in pornography. On the other hand, I also receive responses from fans and peers who do not read me as androgynous or gender queer [and] who see me as cisgender. It happens several times a day, from, “Hey Girl!” or “You’re the most beautiful woman!” or “Do you do scenes with men?” People see me as they will, often conflating my perceived sex with assumed gender and sexuality. I don’t believe they do this to insult or offend me; they don’t know what genderqueer means, or they don’t know that I identify as such. They may not know about my “they/them” preferred pronouns, or if they do, they may not understand it. I’m a patient person, and [I will] softly inform them of my own preferred expression, which usually helps them better understand gender. These kinds of interactions are why I blog (NSFW) and have accounts on social networks (NSFW). If I don’t affirm my gender and sexual orientation, I can’t expect that others will do it for me.

Genderfork: And… what are you thinking about gender right now?

Jiz Lee: Sometimes I feel very heavy from gender discrimination and how it extends to human rights violations. When news of gay teen suicides sparked the nation, we read about them bullied by peers for being effeminate, sissies, [or] for not fitting what society says is masculine. When we often see or experience hatred many times insecurity around gender plays a part of it, whether it’s masculinity, femininity or ambiguity. I try to keep in mind that gender is something we can USE, it’s a part of us. It’s there in how we talk, type, walk, work, and even breathe. It’s complex, and though struggles around gender can be overwhelming, it’s not gender itself that we have to fight against, but simply the limitations of what it can be. Gender is something we can embrace and celebrate. And the more we celebrate and share — thank you Genderfork! — our gender as a valid and loved part of who we are, the more we allow others to do the same.

Posted by on June 22nd, 2011 at 08:00 am

Gender Heroes | 7 comments »


Self-portrait by Tristan A. Originally posted on Internet Fabulous.

Posted by on June 21st, 2011 at 04:00 pm

faces | 1 comment »


XXII, originally uploaded by Ria Elizabeth..

Posted by on June 21st, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | 2 comments »

The Power to Choose

Someone wrote…

I like switching pronouns from he to she everyday or so. It makes me feel like I allowed to chose and no one can stop me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on June 21st, 2011 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Profile: Avery

You can call me… Avery, but I’m ‘in the metaphorical closet’ about mentally changing my name to Art.

I identify as… Female to non-female as of right now. I get called a tomboy by some people, which I’m trying to avoid altogether. I’m a deeply-considering-it-to-please-end-my-life-if-I’m-not-a trans-guy.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Please call me by male pronouns. I want to tell My family is always calling me Miss -last name- and Daughter. It kills me inside whenever I meet new people and then get ‘revealed’ as ‘female’ because of my parents/friends.

I’m attracted to… Primarily cis-men and FtMs, but sometimes I do feel attracted to certain girls. I’m attracted to gamers and fellow techno-lovers.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Stop wondering about whether I am a ‘girl or a boy’. Especially when I haven’t met them before.

I want people to understand… That I’m sensitive, no matter how nonchalant I can appear. I recently reprimanded one of my friends for beginning one of our conversations with ‘guuurl’. I also want people to stop taking our narrow-minded cultural assumptions of gender roles so seriously.

About Avery
Self-promotion, indeed. So uh, on the side, when I’m not being all teenager-y and angsty about gender and biting people’s asses about calling me by the wrong pronouns, I make art from paper and pencils/pens/Photoshop. I have a pet snake which I often forget to feed (they don’t need to eat that often anyways..). Anyways. I do enjoy creating culinary creations (one can attempt to master more than one form of art oho). And I enjoy eating rare steaks. No wait, I’m supposed to be trying to go vegetarian.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on June 20th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

profiles | 3 comments »


n1428678780_30328666_3928944, originally uploaded by rachelyra.

Posted by on June 20th, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Question: Dealing with Dad

Jack asks…

I’m a 17 year old genderqueer bio-female living with my very strongly opinionated father. I came home from a weekend at my mother’s house to find almost my entire male wardrobe gone. My father said that I needed to ‘stop playing dress-up’ and ‘be who I really am’. Now, I’m forced to dress completely feminine. I don’t know what to make of myself any more. Have any of you been in this situation? I could use some advice.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on June 20th, 2011 at 08:00 am

questions | 21 comments »

Profile: raphie

You can call me… raphie

I identify as… gender fluid or gender queer or androgynous or some other kind of gender confused personality. i don’t know what i actually identify as and i’m perfectly okay with that.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … i think of it like spanish. i’m the culmination of a series of genders and because at least a tiny tiny portion of it is completely male, the whole thing goes by masculine pronouns. however, i realize that a lot of the times, i’m uncomfortable with both masculine, feminine, and genderneutral pronouns (especially the latter because i’m not used to them and don’t know how to conjugate them correctly whatsoever). thus, i really have no idea what to go by. the ones who understand my gender identity use masculine pronouns while everyone else uses feminine.

I’m attracted to… intelligence and being able to push me around a bit. i like talking and then saying nothing but a whole conversation has been completed. i like when people manipulate me shamelessly and say sorry but will continue to do it a few minutes later, even when i protest. or at least pretend to. i’m attracted to my closest friends because they’re the kind of people who i want to hang out with. i’m attracted to people who can handle me.

When people talk about me, I want them to… treat me like a person, first and foremost. i don’t want them asking me if i have a penis or if have a vagina or if i have some kind of cross between the two. i don’t want people to assume that i’m going to be stone cold or aggressive or feminine or cutesy. i want people to treat me as me and no one else. as nothing else.

I want people to understand… that i’m not going to be able to fit in your box. or anyone’s box. or even the box that i place myself in. i don’t know what i am to the point of nausea sometimes and i don’t know what i am well enough to explain things to you. i want you to know that i’m uncomfortable in large groups of people and when i say random things, i never mean them. i want you to realize that i’m not a boy and i’m not a girl and i’m not both and i’m not neither. i AM the box.

About raphie
i am raphie in all lowercase. i am god and i am animal. i am art and i am artist. i write freeverse poetry because even when i write, i cannot follow rules. i am sixteen and female bodied and i feel like i’m owned by disney world. i have a blog at and i write about lots of random stuff.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on June 19th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

profiles | 6 comments »


Queen, originally uploaded by Ben Heine.

Posted by on June 19th, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | 3 comments »

Kinder Surprise

Someone wrote…

My friend texted me today calling me an “old man” and then going “I hope that was alright. I am never quite sure what to say – you’re like a gender Kinder Surprise.”

I think that may be my new favourite expression for describing myself.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on June 19th, 2011 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »


Untitled, originally uploaded by Brittany Harrold; Picto-Fuck.

Posted by on June 18th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

faces | Comment »

waiting for service

waiting for service, originally uploaded by chicn the obscure.

Posted by on June 18th, 2011 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Recommendation: The Magician is a Drag King

A reader recommends…

Just a poem about drag kings and women and uncomfortable audiences. About how identities are shifting and how people tend to assume they aren’t and won’t admit they are a little attracted to nonconformity. This one’s a bit dark, but I thought it made a few good points.

» Recommend something. «

Posted by on June 18th, 2011 at 08:00 am

recommendations, videos | Comment »

Profile: Roxanne

You can call me… Roxanne

I identify as… I am a feminist, egalitarian that recognizes the differences in men and women but also recognizes that those differences are biologically trivial.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I like he and him sometimes just because I don’t get to hear that often, I think I’ll start using ze though or hir because that’s pretty neato!

I’m attracted to… My beautiful intelligent, weird, goofy, feminine and masculine soul mate, Thomas.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Think of me as a human being who’s evolved enough to get past the who hunting, gathering, cave man gender ideology.

I want people to understand… how the gender roles are put in play to oppress men and women. I also like to look at the historical factors that contribute to the way gender roles affect us. I think it’s important to see that the feminine traits have been devalued and pale in comparison to the praise of the masculine. This is why I still wear feminine clothes sometimes. I think people can be strong and still embrace femininity instead of frowning at and laughing at everything female related. Why is it so absurd to see a man in a dress and it’s not so bad to see women in pants? I think it’s because the female clothing is considered more embarrassing and humiliating, where as the masculine is praised.

About Roxanne
When I dress in drag I’m always stumped with one big giveaway to my gender, my breasts. I do not want to try to bind my breasts or draw on a mustache. Instead, I want to embrace the qualities I have and not feel ashamed of them and need to hide them. I do not have to appear male, or like a cross dresser. I can appear as a person comfortable in whatever clothing I like. I can love whoever I want, and I can be whoever I want to be. I want to be respected as a person, not a man or a woman but a person. We need to take a closer look at how these gender norms were originally created and enforced and access whether these norms are destructive or constructive to the human spirit and body.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on June 17th, 2011 at 04:00 pm

profiles | 1 comment »

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