Affectionately Fluid

Someone wrote…

Being in a relationship with another genderqueer is so fulfilling. We can be whatever or whoever we want to be. We switch our roles with such fluidity. I’m the girl, I’m the boy. They are the girl, then they are the boy. One thing that stands out though, is that we’ll always be us. Together.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on April 21st, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 13 comments »

13 Responses to “Affectionately Fluid”

  1. The Nerd

    This is so cute!

    I don’t know that I ever feel like “the boy” or “the girl” in a relationship (which is part of what lead me to understand I’m GQ). But I know what you mean about the freedom that comes from gender role fluidity.


  2. radical/rebel

    This made me laugh with delight at my computer. I hope I can experience a freedom like this in a relationship, someday, since I just got out of being with someone who thought we were in a heterosexual couple.

    radical lovely love


  3. Ashlee

    You are soooo lucky!! This is like, soooo cool. I just can’t immagine how awesome a relationship like that could be.


    Jessica replied:

    I can imagine it, I just can’t ever seem to experience it.


  4. Miriam



  5. Zoe

    Me too! Oh, me too. I have this conversation with my lovely love quite a lot- we are horribly smug about it. Just amongst ourselves, of course :-p But I am so happy other people have experienced the wonderfulness too!


  6. Anonymous

    I know the feeling…I’m in a relationship with someone who’s gender is more static, but even within his gender, he has a lot of flexibility…I always feel like he’s a planet and I am the many moons swirling around him…It’s very freeing. Glad other people have similar awesome experiences!


    Lanthir replied:

    I’m in a similar situation. My boyfriend is a straight, cis male, but he doesn’t conform to normative gender roles and he’s entirely comfortable with me being genderqueer. It’s so nice just interacting as people, without perceived gender getting in the way. (^_^)


  7. Elle



  8. Anonymous

    I wouldn’t be okay with being “the girl”- which is part of why I don’t date- but I still wish I could have such a relationship.


  9. Kherath

    I am in a poly relationship… part of which is long distance… strange and difficult, I know.

    The non-long-distance part, that sweetie is also genderqueer. It is definitely nice to have someone to talk to who understands personally the feelings I express.

    However it CAN be doubly confusing when both of us are having issues, doubts and just generally don’t know who they are at the moment.

    Talk about blind leading blind…


  10. Andreana

    This is cute. I was giggling in the middle of the library when I read this. XD
    I wish I could find a relationship like this. I think I’m the only GQ person in my area though. :(


    Jessica replied:

    You might be surprised. As my partner says, “Everybody is genderqueer, it’s just a matter of how much they are and how much they deny it.”


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