Someone wrote…

I’m terrified that the jokes I used to make about being a gay man trapped in a woman’s body weren’t actually jokes.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on August 8th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 18 comments »

18 Responses to “Jokes?”

  1. Liam

    My friends and I would joke about this in regards to me when growing up. What they don’t know is I always felt like there was some truth to it.


  2. Joss/Ame

    Haha I’ve been saying this for years and years, and only about a year and a half ago started realizing that it is largely true…


  3. Lane

    I used to tell those jokes. They definitely turned out to be true.


  4. Anonymous

    well…either way, you’re not alone.


  5. J

    I’ve been thinking lately that I may fit the “lesbian trapped in a man’s body” and it bothers me to think about incidentally fitting into what’s normally a rather sexist cliche.


  6. Anonymous

    They were more than true for me & now I’m doing something about it.


  7. Scafe 10

    Being a woman trapped in a mans’ body is not a crime. People do not understand. They make jokes and insult us because they are afraid and do not understand. Being able to understand who you are and accepting it is more than half the battle. True, jokes and insults hurt. I guarantee that the people who joke and insult are hurting from something.


  8. Courage

    Lots of people come to terms with themselves and their lives through humor. I think it’s normal for everybody, not just queer people, to joke about the deepest aspects of themselves.


  9. Anonymous

    But then what do you do when you realize YOU ARE a gay man trapped in a womans body? How many hurdles? I’m clearly afraid and just realizing this? Can I ever be happy romantically, sexually?


  10. Jessica

    Then you come to realize that you’re just yourself and you’ve spent years of your life chasing other peoples’ ideas of who you ought to be,


  11. Left Hand Of Darkness

    I recently came to a similar realization, that my sexuality and gender are two separate things. I have always been attracted to women, cis or otherwise, but at the same time would prefer to present as more androgynous or, ideally, feminine.

    Unfortunately, I think I figured that all out about ten years too late. As is, I’ve managed to channel a surprising amount of my self-image into how I present, but because of my background it’s perceived as more goth/punk than transgender.

    It feels like a compromise because in some ways it probably is, but it’s a workable one. If I had come to the same conclusions a decade ago, though, I think I would have made different decisions.

    Anyways, just another data point.


  12. Clare

    The only people who would have a a problem with that would be those with an appalling lack of imagination. Ignore them – and love yourself.!!


  13. Anonymous

    I made those kind of jokes too. Along with “all the men I’m attracted to are gay”. There’s a reason for that: so am I.


  14. Anonymous

    I understand what you mean 110%. I don’t feel like girl. Gender is a prison I was forced into at birth. I look in the mirror many a time and wish there could be a “reset” or “go back” button the I could press and change me into the man I should’ve been. I’m scared to death of surgery and hormones but I know that’s the only way I could truly be who I want. Then there’s my family. I’ve tried to tell them, but they blow me off.


  15. Nanner

    I feel exactly the same way and I say those kinds of things all the time. It’s comforting to know that someone else is having similar thoughts.


  16. Ysthar

    I felt the same since a friend told me that am a gayman in a woman body, but now I know am exactly a woman 100% but my mind dont have tipical ways to act like one or both sex, am different depend of the moment.


  17. Anonymous

    I used to say this, and secretly, it was never a joke.

    I’ve grown a lot since then, and now I’m a queer stuck in a genderqueer’s body. Wait, does that make me cis?


  18. Elliott

    I was in denial about the “gay woman in a man’s body” aspect of my identity for a long time. I tried to play off my interest in lesbian culture as merely a sign of my progressiveness and openmindedness and the fact that I had gay friends. Over time I realized that my attraction to non-typical women that had some butch elements to them was related to the fact that I didn’t want to have the normal male/masculine-female/feminine dynamic in my romantic relations. Even though I find femme women very attractive it’s usually women with some butch element to them (visually and personality wise) that actually give me those stomach butterflys. I want to be swept off my feet!


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