Maybe One Day…

Someone wrote…

I have a lot of friends who use they/them or zie/hir, and that’s how I feel too! I wish I was brave enough to use them. Maybe one day…

What’s your experience?


And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on October 27th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 5 comments »

5 Responses to “Maybe One Day…”

  1. Jess

    “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
    Eleanor Roosevelt

    We are who we are …
    not because of other peoples’ labels
    not because of what other people say about us
    not even much because of what we say

    We are who we are …
    not so much because of their effect on us
    not because we want to be
    not because other people want us to be

    We are who we are …
    because of what we do
    because of the effect we have on others
    because words often lie and actions tell truths

    [Reply]

  2. Joss/Ame

    At the school I go to, I live in a house with ten other people working on a project related to LGBTQIA. At some point, they realized that while I didn’t say anything, I was sometimes uncomfortable with female pronouns and instituted a fairly amusing system: The Pronoun Jar. Every time somebody slips up and says “she” as opposed to a gender-neutral or male pronoun, they put twenty-five cents into the jar, which I’m told is eventually going to go to buying me a Christmas present…it’s pretty hilarious; there’s a lot of cursing and facepalming since people haven’t quite gotten used to it yet…

    Seriously, though–if you really like the idea of gender-neutral pronouns, start small. Begin by using them for yourself in your own head, online, etc; then move up to asking one or two trusted friends to use them, then gradually expand as you get more comfortable. It can feel kind of simultaneously weird and natural. Also, just saying–if you unclick your gender on Facebook, the site starts labeling you with singular “they/their”. If it’s good enough for that, it’s good enough for me :)

    [Reply]

    Anonymous replied:

    Can you still do that if you’re signing up now? I thought that’d been disabled. I really want to sign up, but I’m not out/selecting Male would be too weird and I don’t want Female checked on my profile because I really hate declaring myself a lassie (I’m not).
    I know my friend gets referred to as “they”, but I know hann signed up a long time ago so I don’t even know.

    [Reply]

    Kim replied:

    The drop down box has been changed, having the blank space removed (that triggered the use of “they”), so now it’s just male or female. It can be hidden in the profile, but a binary sex (even though they’re still calling it “gender”) must be selected and the pronouns go with it. “They” is no longer on offer.

    [Reply]

    Anonymous replied:

    http://www.facebook.com/notes/rae-picher/facebooks-gender-binary-got-you-down/10150166319923922

    How to (re)set your facebook to neutral.

    This is the closest FB comes to true neutral and it’s pretty comprehensive – the only glitch I’ve found is that when referring to siblings, it defaults you to male – I am my sister’s brother now. Everywhere else, I’m ‘they’. :)

    It also doesn’t announce on your wall that’ you’ve done it, in case you’re shy about it.


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