Passing Less

Someone wrote…

I want to pass less. Sometimes passing makes me sad. I love the idea of having my gender constantly called into question.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on May 19th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 10 comments »

10 Responses to “Passing Less”

  1. Mo

    I hear you. It’s strange for me to be in a (relatively) new city where few people know my trans history and my not-very-masculine mannerisms seem to make most folks assume I’m a Very Gay Man instead of questioning my gender at all. I am trying to find ways to play with my presentation in a way that’s comfortable for me *and* sets off people’s gender-confusion a bit, but it’s tough.


  2. Laurence

    Ah… I want to pass just a little more, but still be androgynous. I pass about 80% of the time normally.

    At the same time, it’s good to hear this! A lot of people are ashamed of their non standard binary gender-ness and simply want to be one of the crowd.


  3. Clare

    Exactly the path i’m on – i completely agree…great to know there are like minds out there!


  4. Anon

    I know what you mean. I hate when I don’t pass with the general population but I am afraid that if I go on T that my own community won’t recognize me.


    Alex replied:

    I feel exactly the same, Anon.


  5. Samson

    I hear you. I get frustrated that I have to make extra effort for other people to see me as even close to the way I see myself (which, for most people-on-the-street, I think the closest they get to “getting it” is seeing me as androgynous/unreadable). When I look in the mirror, I can’t read myself. When I walk out the door, other people can… and I don’t feel like I should have to make the effort for them. I should be presenting the way that makes *me* happy–but it would also make me happy not to pass as much as I do.


  6. AgentRusco

    This has been my biggest struggle after having started T.


    Cameron Joel replied:

    Same here.


  7. J.D.

    I feel quite the same, though it seems I’m either passing too much or not enough, I can’t seem to find the balance I’m looking for.


  8. Jessica

    I am equally uncomfortable passing as a man, as I am passing as a women. I don’t want to pass for something I am not. I’m like Pinocchio: I want to be real. I want to be accepted as and for whom I am. Sometimes I am and that makes me very happy. My partner knew me for who I am even before I did and sometimes I feel like I am someone we discovered together.


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