Passing Less
Someone wrote…
I want to pass less. Sometimes passing makes me sad. I love the idea of having my gender constantly called into question.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Sarah Dopp on May 19th, 2011 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 10 comments »
May 19th, 2011 at 9:06 am |
I hear you. It’s strange for me to be in a (relatively) new city where few people know my trans history and my not-very-masculine mannerisms seem to make most folks assume I’m a Very Gay Man instead of questioning my gender at all. I am trying to find ways to play with my presentation in a way that’s comfortable for me *and* sets off people’s gender-confusion a bit, but it’s tough.
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May 19th, 2011 at 11:29 am |
Ah… I want to pass just a little more, but still be androgynous. I pass about 80% of the time normally.
At the same time, it’s good to hear this! A lot of people are ashamed of their non standard binary gender-ness and simply want to be one of the crowd.
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May 19th, 2011 at 12:20 pm |
Exactly the path i’m on – i completely agree…great to know there are like minds out there!
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May 19th, 2011 at 5:05 pm |
I know what you mean. I hate when I don’t pass with the general population but I am afraid that if I go on T that my own community won’t recognize me.
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Alex replied:
May 19th, 2011 at 5:18 pm
I feel exactly the same, Anon.
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May 19th, 2011 at 7:43 pm |
I hear you. I get frustrated that I have to make extra effort for other people to see me as even close to the way I see myself (which, for most people-on-the-street, I think the closest they get to “getting it” is seeing me as androgynous/unreadable). When I look in the mirror, I can’t read myself. When I walk out the door, other people can… and I don’t feel like I should have to make the effort for them. I should be presenting the way that makes *me* happy–but it would also make me happy not to pass as much as I do.
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May 19th, 2011 at 9:28 pm |
This has been my biggest struggle after having started T.
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Cameron Joel replied:
May 20th, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Same here.
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May 20th, 2011 at 11:37 am |
I feel quite the same, though it seems I’m either passing too much or not enough, I can’t seem to find the balance I’m looking for.
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May 21st, 2011 at 1:47 pm |
I am equally uncomfortable passing as a man, as I am passing as a women. I don’t want to pass for something I am not. I’m like Pinocchio: I want to be real. I want to be accepted as and for whom I am. Sometimes I am and that makes me very happy. My partner knew me for who I am even before I did and sometimes I feel like I am someone we discovered together.
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