Profile: Chelsea

You can call me… Chelsea

I identify as… a girl, or a young woman. At times I catch myself wishing I was a male, and the strange thing about this is that I would rather be a gay male rather than a straight one.

Most people would assume that I’m actually a straight girl who lusts over gay guys, as pop culture has so inclined us to believe. But in all truthfulness, I’m an asexual girl who would rather BECOME a gay boy. It seems like a dumb thing to say, after all, “don’t girls and gay boys like the same thing anyway- guys?”

I’ve only talked to a small number of people about this, (my very best friends), and they seem to understand, although they do sometimes question why. There is no definite answer.
It feels bittersweet to be able to release it here, without fear that I’ll be ostracized or ridiculed, or made to feel that these beliefs are wrong in some way.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I go by “she.”
It seems simpler.
Besides, I have some growing up to do before I consider sexual reassignment surgery. I’m only sixteen, after all.

I’m attracted to… no one, although I know that if I was a gay guy I’d be the happiest young man alive. The thing is, the DYNAMIC between a gay couple is a lot different than the dynamic between a straight one. I want to have the former.

When people talk about me, I want them to… stop questioning why, if I’m so genderqueer, I look the way I do.

I want people to understand… that we are all different. Yes, it’s so cliche it’s original. People should just get used to it. :]

About Chelsea
I’m a sixteen year old junior in a high school in Lincoln, NE. Don’t be fooled, though. We have almost 2,000 students, and we are one of several high schools in the city. :] We are by no means small.
My life right now is school and family/friends. I am preparing for the ACT I will take in a few months, wading through my AP classes, and generally working my ass off. I’m glad my friends are supportive of me being genderfluid, and don’t question it as much as others do.

On a side note, you all may be glad to know that young Nebraska is very liberal and enlightened. :] Only our parents are stuffy Republicans. In fact, our school’s Switch Rally was just a few days ago, and this is the biggest pep rally of the year, the one where the girls and the guys switch roles- even clothing syles. Also, we had this little game where one couple from each section, (the freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors), came down to the floor and answer questions about each other. Three of the couples were female/male, but a couple from the freshman section were male/male, and they weren’t joking around. :] They even won the game, as they were able to answer all of the questions right about each other.

Yes, Lincoln is very queer. And to think! Everyone believes that we’re staunch conservatives. ;D

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on February 4th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: profiles 21 comments »

21 Responses to “Profile: Chelsea”

  1. dean

    “I identify as… a girl, or a young woman. At times I catch myself wishing I was a male, and the strange thing about this is that I would rather be a gay male rather than a straight one.

    Most people would assume that I’m actually a straight girl who lusts over gay guys, as pop culture has so inclined us to believe. But in all truthfulness, I’m an asexual girl who would rather BECOME a gay boy.”

    It feels I wrote these words. I am just the same.


  2. Jessica

    “The thing is, the DYNAMIC between a gay couple is a lot different than the dynamic between a straight one. I want to have the former.” Interesting observation. I wonder if it is true?


    Samson replied:

    Personally I think this is a phenomenon that has little to do with heterosexuality vs. homosexuality, and a lot more to do with the analysis of and sensitivity to roles and dynamic that seems to happen much more in the queer community (where the roles and dynamic of a relationship CAN be much less of a given/assumed thing) than in the straight community (where there seems to be less questioning of the roles into which we were socialized). Does that make sense?


  3. radical/rebel

    I’m a female bodied person becoming a gay man, because it’s what I want–and who I’m attracted to. I am severely happy.

    I’m also from a progressive place in the progressive Midwest! We’ve got it so much better than people can even imagine, back home in our little hamlets where the queers and the genderqueers and all kinds of outcasts live free!!



    Meike replied:

    What part of the Midwest to you come from? Let me know so I can move there. My part of the Midwest is definitely not like yours.


    radical/rebel replied:

    DES to the fucking MOINES! (in IOWA!)

    get there. it’s clean, green, beautiful, progressive, loaded with coffeeshops and parks. I have been all over the United States and I know that Des Moines is one of the coolest, most livable, gay-friendliest cities I’ve seen.


  4. Samson

    It’s hard to be genderqueer and still present as your assigned-at-birth sex (which is something I sometimes do too). Feels like people don’t take you seriously. We’re supposed to have the -option- to present non-normatively, not the -obligation-.

    Also–not to say that you shouldn’t go for SRS if that’s something you need–but I want to rep my non-op trans friends a bit and say it’s not a requirement for transition–to male, female, or anything else. (:


  5. Lane

    Wow. I could have written this profile when I was your age. Now I’m twenty-one and in college, and I’ve decided I want to transition. Whether I’m transitioning to run-of-the-mill gay man or male-presenting genderqueer, who knows. Its all part of the fun of being a gender outlaw. Anyways I’m glad you found a place to express yourself and I wish you best of luck. :-)


  6. Oliver

    Before I decided to transition, I hung out around a lot of gay men too. Now I still do, but it’s more kosher when I flirt with them. ;)
    I hope you’re doing well, Chelsea. All the best with your gender journey.


  7. Ava

    I don’t know if we are in the same boat, but the part about feeling like a man sometimes struck a chord with me.
    I sometimes catch myself thinking in those terms, but I know that I don’t want to be a male. And if I were a male, I would also want to be a gay male.
    I in no form or fashion want to be male, but I wonder sometimes, how would I appear? How would I define myself? Or others?
    I think that in those terms, it makes me a bit weird.
    I am a girl on the outside, bows, barrettes, feminine clothes, but my mentality says something else, and it’s a bit frightening.

    I do agree with you on the dynamics of a gay couple versus the dynamics of a hetero couple. I think there is more spark, more passion there with the gay couple as opposed to the hetero couple. I know that it is so heart warming that a picture can’t even translate what is going on with the couple


  8. Keena

    I feel the same exact way about my gender. If I was a boy, I would be the most flamboyant gay kid I could be. But I’m a girl, and as a girl I’m not attracted to guys. I like girls (in theory, I’m a little to mentally unstable to have a relationship at the moment). I don’t know, something about being part of a heterosexual couple just doesn’t seem right to me.


    Anonymous replied:

    I’m the same, only, I wear men clothes and pass as schoolboy(though, I’m 23 :D), and am attracted to everyone.. but in platonic sense exclusively


  9. radical/rebel

    there are a lot of biologically-essentializing assumptions flying around these comments about the nature of relationships between two people with the same genitalia, and two people with non-identical genitalia.

    can we all try to remember that a QUEER relationship is possible between any two people, with any configuration of genitalia? “opposite-sex” pairs =/ straight couples!

    lots of radical, queer, and challenging love,


    Anonymous replied:

    Right on. As a female-born, genderqueerish person of some sort, I am loving dating a queer male for the first time ever.

    I guess to a majority of the world we may look like a straight couple. But, alas, it’s so incredibly different and refreshing. It feels so much more right than any dating experience I’ve ever had.

    And, I think it is helping me to really understand my own queer nature much more.


  10. Anonymous

    I can absolutely identify with where you’re at. One of the things I love about Genderfork is realizing that I’m not alone. As a self-identified girlfag, it brings me great joy to think that there are other bio-females who would like nothing more than for people to understand that their personal idea of queer includes loving queer boys. I wish you the best and am sending good thoughts your way.


  11. Alex

    Pretty sure you and I are like twins or something. I’m the same way.


  12. Kab

    I am the exact same way! Except I don’t want to have surgery to become a boy, because i’m terrified of hospitals, but i know what you mean about the relationship dynamic.
    I just wanted to add that I’m a Consitutionalist (farther right than a republican) and i’ve always supported gay and such rights. I just want our leaders to follow the Constitution.


  13. Anonymous

    I’ve always thought of myself as a cis-female heterosexual, but recently I’ve begun to consider that I’d rather be a gay man than a straight woman. I’m still too uncertain to be comfortable saying I’m not female and straight, though.

    It makes me feel better to know there are other people out there who feel the same way, and know what they are.


  14. Tempest

    Ohhh, my goodness, you summed up something I’ve been struggling to come to terms with myself. I’ve chosen an asexual lifestyle myself (at least for the time being — I’m 23 so my parents view this as rather odd), but I think I would have an easier time being a sexual person if I were a gay man.

    =) It’s amazing how easily you were able to put to words something I have only just begun to comprehend. I still have a lot of growing up to do as well.


  15. Anonymous

    Thank(God?)for people like you who can state something like that that should seem so simple, but put into words is uplifting and beautiful. Right on. :)


  16. Anonymous

    After reading your words I felt like I could finally understand a part of myself. Thank you for the insight.


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