Profile: Harmony

You can call me… Harmony / Anthony / VG

I identify as… I was wondering if anyone feels this way, or if it is even possible.

This is what I feel– but it doesn’t make any sense at all.

So, pretty much, I feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body trapped in a woman.

I like being Harmony. I like being my mommy’s daughter.
But I feel like my body is wrong. I feel like I should have a penis and muscles and little itty bitty boobies.

I feel like I should be a woman trapped in a man’s body… part time.

I want masculine-ish facial features, I want to have a chest that I could go topless in, but then squeeze into a corset and have lovely tah-tahs.

I want to have a penis when I’m having sex– even if it’s not being used or touched. I want to know its there.

I long to go on testosterone, but I never want to face male-pattern baldness or a pot belly, or have my temper flair up even more or become more insensitive. I want to be womanly and feminine. But I want a cock. I want to wear men’s clothing without people just passing me off as a lesbian. (I have a REALLY feminine face.) But I want to be pretty. I want to be lovely.

I want to wear a dress to my wedding and a tux to the reception.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … It’s okay, you can call me “she” and it won’t really bother me. But the day someone calls me “he,” I will be delighted and giggling for the rest of the week.

I’m attracted to… Anyone really, I have a horrible tendency to crush on the person at school that is kindest to me– not many people like me, so that one person that takes the time to talk to me or joke with me is usually the person I actually have feelings for.

But if we’re just talking sex… I like people that are a mix of masculine/femme features and masculine/femme personality traits.

When people talk about me, I want them to… respect me and not dismiss every word I say.

I want people to understand… I’m weird. I’m obnoxious. I’m passionate. I’m obsessive. I’m protective.

Most people find me annoying, but if you get on my TRUE good side, I will defend you to the death.

About Harmony / Anthony / VG
High school student at a struggling charter school in Minnesota.
Working as hard as I can to graduate this spring (a year early) so I can move to the ever queer friendly and vegan loving Portland, OR.

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on October 2nd, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: profiles 11 comments »

11 Responses to “Profile: Harmony”

  1. May

    I don’t share your gender identity but I think it’s fucking cool. Sorry if that’s offensive, like maybe I shouldn’t think it’s special or something, but yeah.

    [Reply]

  2. Sam

    I somewhat recognize myself in this. In some ways.

    [Reply]

  3. Regen

    You sound almost exactly like me two years ago (except I’m actually from Portland, OR, and yes, we are very accepting and vegan-friendly, but in the end we’re just a city with people from every opinion group). I always felt like i was happy being feminine except I felt like I should have a man’s body… and it did make a big difference when people started calling me “he”. That might be something you want to start enforcing when you get out of your hometown (in my experience, people who’ve known you forever have a tendency to not accept changes in your gender identity as well as people who meet you as “Hi, I’m *insert name* and I prefer you use male pronouns for me

    [Reply]

  4. Laurence

    My boyfriend is very similar to this…you’re not the only one and it’s definitely awesome.

    [Reply]

  5. K

    I could have written this.

    [Reply]

  6. Peanut

    Portland, OR would love to have you.

    [Reply]

  7. Anonymous

    when you get to portland, let me know how i can help welcome you ;)

    your post was transfixing and deeply moving. thank you.

    - michelle

    akkadia@gmail.com

    [Reply]

  8. ScarUponTheSky

    As for this: “I long to go on testosterone, but I never want to face male-pattern baldness or a pot belly, or have my temper flair up even more or become more insensitive.”

    I’m on testosterone and have never gone through any of these things. Maybe my admission will give you something to think about. :)

    And your identity is something that is present in my mind constantly so you’re definitely not alone.

    [Reply]

  9. Ryan

    You sound beautiful. :) Be confident in yourself, you have every reason to be.

    [Reply]

  10. JAH

    Thank you for opening your life to the virtual realm. Much of what you have written, I feel even to this day. Comfort lies in knowing the universe is expansive enough to have others remotely understand what one feels. Thanks for posting.

    [Reply]

  11. b

    Its name is nested transgenderism. I also feel like this, (kinda). like my sometimes feminine female is body a puppet that my dominantly male (and sometimes fema le) energy can flow through. (and seduce straight cisguys who want dive into their hidden bicuriousness.) For sex, I want a penis and a vagina.

    I thought that you were a trans woman when I saw your pic. I hope you find your soul effortlessly nesting, resting ,and moving through you. Muah!

    [Reply]


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