Profile: Wilson Timothy Garcia

You can call me… Wilson Timothy Garcia.

I identify as… The Übermench, a child, a mature adult, fanatic, a smudge-r of the lines between every stereotype known to mankind, a delusional maniac, one incredibly confused your mother, and, overarchingly, a person.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They’re the worst component to the English language. All they do is hold people down, gag them with dishtowels, and shove them into small boxes. Were you to find yourself in need of a dishtowel to gag me with, I would prefer you use ‘they’. If you would like to address me with a dishtowel, feel free to pull one out of your hat at random.

I’m attracted to… Opinions, ideas, will, wit, devil-may-care attitudes, art, collar bones, those who refuse to give a flying fuck, intellect, eloquence, and the lack of appendages. Overarchingly, people.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Realize what they think and what they know, realize that they might be wrong, and realize that their words fail to have an effect on my withering ego.

I want people to understand… Their own idiocy.

And a lot of other things.

About Wilson Timothy Garcia
I like a lot of things. A few of my favorites are Alexander the Great, the smell of rain-water on concrete, surrealism, philosophy, eccentricity, hot chocolate, and weird music.
I hate a lot of things to. These include ignorance, conformity, incongruence within the English language, and Pepsi. I intend to pursue careers in Forensic Pathology and the free-lance writing of soft science fiction.
I like saying ‘Live Long and Prosper’ when ending conversations or acquaintances.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on January 2nd, 2011 at 04:00 pm

Category: profiles 8 comments »

8 Responses to “Profile: Wilson Timothy Garcia”

  1. Elliot

    Your confidence is empowering, and your wit is good for a laugh. Keep up your awesomeness!


  2. Jessica

    What have you got against Pepsi? Or is it just the Coke/Pepsi binary you can’t stand?

    My favorite Pepsi story. In the 1980’s Pepsico was running lotteries in dozens of third world countries, including the Philippines. Well, the fucked up and the grand prize was won by a bout 22,000 people in the Philippines… so they decided to not pay out. There were riots. Practically all the Pepsi facilities in the country were wrecked. The corporate leadership in Pepsico Philippines had to be evacuated by the army and Pepsi could not see anything in the Philippines for almost ten years.


  3. Keanan

    I want to go into forensic pathology as well. Maybe one day we will see each other out in the field. Do you want to be a medical examiner?

    I dislike Pepsi as well. I think Mug and Sierra Mist are okay though.


  4. Ava

    I am in love with every word you wrote.
    I love your confidence and strong sense of self…it was refreshing.


  5. Leon

    Alexander the Great and “live long and prosper”?
    I think I’m in love already.


  6. kendall

    singular theys for teh win

    oh and live long and prospher \\ //_


  7. Riam

    I feel exactly the same way about pronouns…just never put it as eloquently as you did.


  8. Anonymous

    brilliant! I love that there are people out there that appreciate idiosyncrasies. Also, have you heard the joke about how many surrealists it takes to screw in a light bulb? Purple anchovies.


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