That Doesn’t Mean…

Someone wrote…

Just because I am female doesn’t mean that when I wear dresses and make-up, I want to be called “she”.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 27th, 2011 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 7 comments »

7 Responses to “That Doesn’t Mean…”

  1. T.V. Wilde

    I empathise sooooo much with this! :] x


    InfinitySquared replied:

    Yeah. It would be an understandable mistake, though.


  2. Regen

    OMG So true! Everyone seems to think that when I dress in a less-than-masculine way, that means that I have “reverted to my natural state”. I’d much rather get “sir, why are you wearing a dress?” than “Hello, ma’am.”


  3. Jess

    It always surprises me when I get Sir instead of ma’am. When people ask me, I tell them I don’t care what pronoun they use. I say this not because I don’t care (I am she) but because my presentation is easily mistaken for male and I really can’t object to people jumping to the easy inaccurate conclusion. I guess I can’t be bothered to take the trouble to make myself look on the outside more like I feel inside.


    Regen replied:

    I always used to say that too, but I’ve recently realized that occasionally those people who ask actually care (and I had a friend demand to know which pronouns I preferred, REALLY, so I told him. And having a person actually using the proper pronouns felt so good that I started correcting other people, too. They look confused, but then are either like “okay” or like “No”, and that tells me something, doesn’t it?). I figure if people respect me enough to ask about my pronouns, I have every right to tell them, even if that “doesn’t fit” with their image.


    Jess replied:

    Yes, but there’s a difference between asking people who know and care about you to use X pronoun and being upset with strangers for incorrectly reading what you’re being ambiguous about.


    Regen replied:

    That’s true, I don’t get upset at people or anything. And of course, that kind of thing should be done on a case by case basis. I’m just excited because for the first time in my life I actually have most of the people who know me using the pronouns I prefer. (college freshman=excitable)

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