Crash wildly
Submitted by Irgo. Reposted from Heavy Muffin Top (warning: nudity).
“The different parts of my gender crash together wildly, like a demolition derby. Most of the time it feels exciting and fun, but it is also frightening and painful at times. Today I shaved my face for the first time ever and while it was happening I felt a mixture of fear, uncertainty and mischievous joy. I can feel certain aspects of masculinity creeping in to the way that I understand myself and perform my gender and it unsettles me because I feel like I haven’t yet learned how to celebrate, re-purpose or trust it in the same way I have with femininity. Embodying masculinity with integrity is an intense responsibility that I don’t always feel ready for.”
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Category: faces 4 comments »
September 26th, 2012 at 6:47 pm |
I’m glad to hear that you are experiencing a level of joy regarding it. =) As someone in moving in the opposite direction, all I feel is a daily torture…until saturday (the beginning of the end) that is. God bless electrolysis.
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September 29th, 2012 at 9:43 am |
“I can feel certain aspects of masculinity creeping in to the way that I understand myself and perform my gender and it unsettles me because I feel like I haven’t yet learned how to celebrate, re-purpose or trust it in the same way I have with femininity.”
That encapsulates so much of what I’ve been feeling lately. Thank you!
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September 29th, 2012 at 5:22 pm |
I don’t know how relevant this comment is, but I know what it’s like to have masculinity creep in and feeling uncertain about how to deal with it. For someone who feels (or felt) MtF that creeping masculinity is a curse, and a symbol of everything that’s wrong with who we were and how we lived. For a person who feels more MtFtA, it’s kind of like apologizing to an old friend after years of separation and hurt feelings.
Gender aside, embodying integrity is an intense responsibility.
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October 1st, 2012 at 2:12 pm |
How do you get your hair to stand up like that? It looks awesome.
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