Gender Confuses Me

Lytche wrote…

Gender confuses me, when it’s presented in binary opposition. My body might be male, but I don’t feel inclined to act masculine, nor do I feel the need to change my sex. I am me and this is my gender – A mixture of psychical strength, compassionate heart, empathy, smiles, kind words and self-reliance. If I could pick my gender, I want it to be pink.
Why people are so obsessed with that box which is being used only to limit one’s choices and to restrain one’s abilities is well beyond me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on January 5th, 2012 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 8 comments »

8 Responses to “Gender Confuses Me”

  1. Ashlee

    Wow, I can totally relate…

    We grow up checking boxes. Most people like it because its easier, not much thinking involved. Think about it – when I was in school, what kind of tests did I like – multiple choice and true/false or written? Limited choices makes life easy for most people, and most people like it easy and fast.

    People like you and I – well, we tend to bend the rules, and often don’t find the right box to check. Makes life a bit frustrating, doesn’t it?


    Ashlee replied:

    Oh, and my body is genetically male too, and I like PINK too! ;)


  2. Anonymous

    I think a lot of people conflate “gender” not only with “sex,” but with “stereotypical gender roles.” Whether you’re trans or cis, there’s no reason you can’t be a compassionate, empathetic man who likes pink <3


    Anonymous replied:

    Likewise a lot of people tend to conflate gender variance with being either “trans” or “cis”. It is possible to identify as somewhere in between, or for that matter, completely outside of these categories. The poster has already communicated their identity as being something that doesn’t match gender as mainstream society defines it. There’s no reason they can’t identify as a male-bodied individual with a non-standard gender identity. There’s no reason someone has to label themself with such heavily-loaded terms as “man” or “woman”, regardless of one’s view on traditional gender roles.


  3. Aeryn

    I feel the same way. Gender is not just polar opposites and many people fit somewhere in the middle. I myself feel that while my sex is male, I am in no way male brained. I take parts of both masculine and feminine that define me as myself and roll that into what makes up Aeryn. If people have a problem or are confused by that, then I say ask questions or be confused. It’s better than being completely wrong or right. My favorite thing to say to people when they ask is that I am a conundrum wrapped in an enigma. If you take the time to figure me out then you’ll understand but will never get me by just looking at me.


  4. RnA

    <3 Beautifully Put! <3


  5. Clare

    When anyone comments on my feminine appearance or clothing items, the temptation is to explain or self-justify in some way. I refuse to do this – why should i have to? The only explanation i give is that i like nail colours/lip-colour/bangles or whatever – and that usually does the job – not an issue for me means its generally not along-term issue for anyone else – there are more important things in the world…


  6. Rinn

    Such the same, except I’m female-bodied!

    I’m perfectly fine when a form says “sex” and asks me to check a box, but the minute the header is “gender,” I get pissed off.


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top