I Gave In
Someone wrote…
I gave in….when they told me I looked better in skirts and make-up than jeans and a loose T-shirt. They like it when I straighten my hair. They like my hair long, not buzzed. They don’t like my gauges. My mother told me I was a bad catholic, and I should go to confessions…and then a therapist. I gave in when they said I look better as a size two than a 9. I gave in…I gave in.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Chris on January 3rd, 2012 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 10 comments »
January 3rd, 2012 at 8:03 am |
It’s hard not to give in when you’re constantly being beaten down.
It’s never too late to fight back.
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January 3rd, 2012 at 2:08 pm |
*a million hugs* I second what Elle said. We’ve all given in at some point in our lives. Its never too late to start the fight.
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January 3rd, 2012 at 8:01 pm |
Remember there is no shame in keeping your head down: laying low is different from surrendering. Sometimes the only way to survive is to go with the flow.
But don’t give up. One day, that inner voice will be louder than ones outside. One day, you can give them all the finger, shave off those ridiculous locks, pull on army boots , and be yourself again. (One day, when you confess your sins, your priest will peer at you through the grate between your seats and tell you that their concerns were misplaced, and there’s nothing to forgive.)
We’ll be right here through the whole journey, cheering you on.
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January 3rd, 2012 at 10:58 pm |
I’m totally experiencing the same thing right now. I don’t think anything feels worse than tasting that freedom, and then being shoved back in the closet. It hurts so much, and it feels like either way I’m doing the wrong thing. I don’t know why people can’t just leave us all alone about it. It’s just so sad that guilt and shame are the only methods people know they can rely on to control each other.
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January 4th, 2012 at 10:24 am |
The truth of who you are will never be lost. Don’t give up.
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January 4th, 2012 at 11:34 pm |
As Reb has said: lying low is not surrender.
And I know I’m not God, by any stretch, but I’m a practicing Catholic too and I don’t believe that you could possibly be being a “bad” one- not over this. I also often think that people who go around saying that this person is a “bad Catholic” are the ones being bad themselves- the pharasees- because they are judging in such a way that implies that they are being “good” and positioning themselves as superior. I don’t know what your relationship with your mother is like normally, so I don’t want to insult her, but then, the sin of pride or ego are easy for even the nicest person to fall into. I believe God loves you and wants you to be happy. I know it sounds saccharine, but there it is. Doesn’t make it not true.
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January 6th, 2012 at 8:48 am |
Be safe, be strong, have no regrets. We’ll all be here for you on the other side of this adventure, smiling and saying “we knew you could do it.” We all believe in you, and your ability to be your self even through adversity.
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January 6th, 2012 at 11:16 pm |
This nearly made me cry.
I’ve been there. I’ve been in those shoes. I’ve given in. I let them make me give in. I nearly gave up.
But then one day I realized that it wasn’t about pleasing them. I realized it wasn’t about being a good (in my case) Christian, because they didn’t have a right to tell me what that meant.
I cut my hair. I changed my clothes. I got new glasses. I said goodbye to my therapist.
And now I’m working toward becoming an ordained minister.
Giving in isn’t the end. Hitting rock bottom means there’s just nowhere left to go but up. I gave in, a thousand times I gave in. It’s not over. You are, and always will be, loved for who you are.
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January 7th, 2012 at 11:16 am |
I feel like this right now. It is hard to keep your head up with so many torrents beating against you. Just remember that no matter what they say and no matter if you choose to keep your head down or give them the finger, that you are beautiful and amazing simply the way you are. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that, but it is true.
I applaud your courage, and thank you to the commenter for their uplifting words. We are all in this together.
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January 10th, 2012 at 12:33 pm |
Well, I’ve been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me
Well, I’ve been down so very damn long
That it looks like up to me
Yeah, why don’t one you people
C’mon and set me free
I said, warden, warden, warden
Won’t you break your lock and key
I said, warden, warden, warden
Won’t ya break your lock and key
Yeah, come along here, mister
C’mon and let the poor boy be
Baby, baby, baby
Won’t you get down on your knees
Baby, baby, baby
Won’t you get down on your knees
C’mon little darlin’
C’mon and give your love to me, oh yeah
Well, I’ve been down so Goddamn long
That it looks like up to me
Well, I’ve been down so very damn long
That it looks like up to me
Yeah, why don’t one you people
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon and set me free
-Doors
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