Long hair
Someone wrote…
I don’t know whether cutting my hair would help me on my path to understanding my own gender. On the one hand, it would make me look less like a female, which is definitely a plus. On the other hand, I like my long hair. It’s wild and golden, and besides, some men have long hair. It would be nice if long hair wasn’t always read as cisgendered, huh?
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on November 3rd, 2012 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 7 comments »
November 3rd, 2012 at 10:04 am |
I totally know the feeling. I had collar-length hair for quite awhile, which is something that plenty of boys and young men have, yet I only got read as male twice during that time period, and never when my hair was longer. Since I cut it short I’ve been consistently read as male or as androgynous at least 60-70% of the time. It’s so frustrating…
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November 3rd, 2012 at 11:09 am |
I like long hair too… I don’t think I look good in short hair so I don’t want to cut it. Sometimes I get the “if you cut your hair short maybe you would look more like a guy” but I know I wouldn’t, at least not like a handsome guy. When I have guy-days I put the hair in a simple pony tail, I think it helps a bit… And yes, I totally agree with you, it’s ridiculous to judge by the length of someones hair….
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November 3rd, 2012 at 12:45 pm |
Oh I know what you mean, I love long hair on guys and I would like to look like them but when my hair is long I get read as female 100% of the time
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November 3rd, 2012 at 1:22 pm |
I think it depends…The good thing about hair is that it grows back. Also, your hair is only one facet of your presentation and may or may not make or break your being read one way or the other. I tried cutting my hair really short for a while, and although it was fun and easy to care for, I feel more like myself and I also look less female with slightly long hair.
I have also experienced being read differently in different places. For example, with longish hair in a part of China, I was consistently read as female. With the same hair in a part of the U.K., I was more than half the time read as male. Now in the U.S., it is about 1/4 male and 3/4 female.
I have also messed around with altering my hairline around my temples. This has been hard to sustain, but has significantly reduced my dysphoria. I think it has helped me to be read as male with long hair as well.
When it comes down to it, if you really want to go for passing a certain way, it just sort of depends on your own style and features. At some point, it also becomes a trade off between how important passing is to you and how important having certain traits is to you. Sometimes it is just worth it to trim your locks, and sometimes it’s worth it to let them grow.
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November 5th, 2012 at 8:26 am |
I believe all people look amazing with long hair. It is on of the things that attracts me to a person, So I am biased in that.
But whichever hairstyle is most supportive of who you are would be the right one. Because the only thing better than great hair is great confidence!
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November 9th, 2012 at 8:46 am |
I wish long hair wasn’t viewed as largely girly here. I think the most important thing though is how it’ll make *you* feel. I don’t mean that in an “ignore what society thinks!” sort of way, but in that how you feel will affect your confidence, which in turn affects how people perceive you.
I had my hair cut off in June and I’m so happy. I’d never had it shorter than shoulder length before, but it was bothering me more and more because it felt girly to me. I liked long hair and thought it was gorgeous and femme, but getting it cut off increased my confidence in my gender identity. Do what feels right to you, and don’t worry if it takes a while to decide for sure one way or the other.
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November 10th, 2012 at 7:08 am |
I was feeling the same way a few months ago. The last time I had short hair was when I was 4 or 5. I’d been wanting to cut it to to be able to go back and forth between gender looks. I’m really happy that I cut it. I’ve already been mistaken as a boy if I don’t wear mascara and dress more boyish. Yet it still works if I happen to feel a little more feminine. If you cut it and you don’t like it, it will always grow back.
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