My Inner Self

Someone wrote…

My partner is a transguy who sees gender in a fairly rigid and binary way. He says that he has always been attracted to feminine, “curvy” female-bodied people. This is how he sees me, and how I’ve told myself that I must be for him to love me. But this is not how I feel, and it is becoming increasingly hard to suppress my inner self. We have been together for almost three years, and I feel so ashamed to let him see who I really am.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on December 21st, 2012 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to “My Inner Self”

  1. Elle

    I don’t think you have anything to be ashamed of but I know some of us can’t always help it. In my case, I ended up being more ashamed about hiding my true self than I was ashamed to let them see who I really am.


  2. Cloud

    I know this EXACT feeling. I was with a man for three years who was attracted to “feminine women,” and all the while, my inner queer identity had to sit in the wings and watch my life unfold. What matters most is being your authentic self — if he truly loves you, he will embrace you as you are.

    In the end, for so many reasons, that relationship did not work out. But I am so, so glad that it didn’t. I am engaged to someone else now — a beautiful handsome queerdo — who supports me in my journey, no matter where it takes us.

    Whether or not your relationship works out, every moment you spend hiding is a moment you can’t take back. Embrace yourself, and everything and everyone else will fall into place.

    Good luck. <3


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