You can call me… Padraig, or rarely, Ari.
I identify as… I hate to use my stock response, but it amused me that “a genderqueer, polyamorous goth” so closely fit how I describe myself in most places aka: I am a polyamorous, pansexual, deeply kinky, genderqueer, switch, goth rocker with a flair for the dramatic, and sex drive like a rabbit on Viagra… :p
I operate a lot on learned male mannerisms due to not needing another reason for people to castigate me aside from being strange, fat, or a geek. Only if I am extremely comfortable with someone will I let my natural, more femme side and mannerisms show.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … I just stick with he/him as I am used to it. I don’t feel they encompass me, but they don’t bother me either.
I’m attracted to… femmes of all gender presentation (yes that does mean cis, trans, CD etc…), Queer, Tall, Big & Beautiful, Geeks, Gamers, Intelligence, Thoughtful people, Goths, Therians, Vamps, etc… I am actually very open and easily connect with many people, but everything above adds to the appeal.
When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that under the big barbarian-esque exterior, I am actually a giant teddy bear and a very tender, emotional person.
I want people to understand… genderqueer can’t, and never will fit into a box or be neatly labeled and packaged.
Just because I seem to be comfortable in my own skin doesn’t mean that I am.
Just because I don’t struggle outwardly as genderqueer does not mean that I am not struggling with immense inner turmoil.
Looks are deceiving… Some see a large confident picture of masculinity, I look inside and see an insecure butch girl trying to define herself, but just not sure how.
I think I may have finally found my mate, she is nearly my opposing gender variant and the only person I have completely opened up to.
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