Question: New Binder

Mara asks…

How do I answer questions about the fact that I recently started wearing a binder? I don’t really want to explain because that gets really personal really quickly. Any advice to avoid answering without being rude?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on April 22nd, 2012 at 04:00 pm

Category: questions 11 comments »

11 Responses to “Question: New Binder”

  1. Anonymous

    You probably want to go with something that’s honest but not too nitty gritty. Off the top of my head, I can think of (some of which might not apply):

    - Because I like how it looks
    - Because I like how it makes my clothes look
    - Because I’m more comfortable in it
    - Because I wanted to try something new
    - Because I wanted to

    You can forestall further questions with, “I’d rather not get into it.” or “It just works for me.” Hopefully anyone who actually cares about you will get the hint and leave off.

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  2. Anonymous

    that`s a good question!!!
    I hope lots of people answer it, cause I am thinking bout wearing my binder outside my livingroom…and asked myself the exact same question since days now.
    And what if its too hot or uncomfortable for wearing it at work? I want to try, but I fear the reactions of others…

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    Anonymous replied:

    I’ve never had anyone–coworker or close friend–comment on my binding. I really don’t think people pay attention that much, and even if they do notice, I think it would reflect badly on them to react poorly to it. You could lie and say it’s a new bra or something. But in my opinion, it’s a pretty rude question to ask if you’re not close with someone.

    What I do when I’m wearing a new binder to work is bring a bag with a sports bra in it, just in case I start to get overheated or my ribs start hurting, so I can go to the bathroom and change if necessary. If possible, wear baggy shirts for the first few days, and I am sure no one will notice if you do have to change.

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  3. HL

    It’s been my experience that people don’t comment or really notice when I wear a binder (unless they are the hugging type in which case I have been asked if/why I was wearing a swimsuit under my shirt). Perhaps people don’t focus on my boobs enough to notice when they aren’t there. So if you haven’t gotten any questions yet, it’s definitely a possibility that you won’t get any at all.

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    Anonymous replied:

    I second that. People tend to ignore the fact, anyone binds.
    The time I started binding, nobody said anything – well, my mum asked something like “Hey, where are your breasts?”, but I was out, so there wasn’t any problem.
    But friends, to whom I wasn’t out at this time, didn’t notice anything – or at least they didn’t talk about it. Also other family members didn’t say anything, although it was quite obvious, that I’m binding (and my clothes were totally masculin).
    So, just relax, most people won’t comment you binding. And if they do, I would recommend the phrases proposed in the first answer.

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  4. Joss/Ame

    A very polite friend of the family commented on how I’d “lost weight in college”. Despite the fact that I’ve actually gained about ten pounds since I came to college, I never chose to correct her.

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    anta replied:

    Pretty much the only time anyone noticed anything when I started binding was a friend of my mom’s, who asked me if I’d lost weight. I said I didn’t know, because saying, “No, I just bound my boobs” seemed over the top.

    No one else noticed anything or at least didn’t comment. I suppose it’s because most of clothes were so baggy. Then again, if I started wearing something less baggy after I started binding, that might also have contributed to the “lost weight” interpretation.

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  5. Lane

    Probably if anyone comments at all it will be someone very close to you and then you have the opportunity to explain it mechanically: fits/functions/looks better than whatever you were previously wearing, or emotionally: this is more ‘accurate’ feeling for me, I feel more confident dressed like this etc. Just depends on if the conversation arises and where you choose to take it; but really, I doubt most people would comment on something so personal. Not having gone the top-surgery route at this point, I either bind or wear very restrictive sports bras but still wear A-tanks in the summer so it is hard to completely hide ‘Them”- sometimes tell people “Some people want theirs bigger- I am NOT that person” Have still gotten “sir’ and “buddy’ from strangers though so it’s all good;)

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  6. Aubri

    When I began wearing my binder at work, I started after a two week vacation. I figured that people wouldn’t have as solid a picture of me in their minds after I was gone for two weeks. No one has ever commented on it without me mentioning it to them.

    Also, if you’re concerned about being too hot, UnderWorks has a decent binder called the Cotton Concealer Compression Muscle Shirt that I wear when it’s especially hot out or I want to do something athletic but want to bind. It’s long so it doesn’t ride up and I only need to wear two layers (binder and shirt). It doesn’t bind as well as some of their other models so I always wear a baggy shirt but it’s worth being pysically cooler.

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  7. Maximillian711

    I personally find that just saying “I’m wearing a gynecomastia shirt” then moving straight on to the next topic bamboozles them enough that they stop talking about it. Good luck however you go about it though.

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  8. Anonymous

    You could turn it into a joke and say that the boob fairy took em away for you as a gift and then change the topic. . lol I noticed that seemed to work for me more times then not. .

    [Reply]


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