Respect for Myself

Someone wrote…

I’m wanting to cry and smile at the same time. I’ve been wearing my assigned traditional mask for 52 years and now I just can’t do that any more.

Getting my ear lobe pierced doesn’t sound very ‘out’ but it is a first step. It may be a slow move to the middle where my real third-gender self lives and it will cost me the respect of many others I know but at least my respect for myself will grow at the same time… ‘don’t live their lie, live your life.’

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on December 5th, 2012 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 4 comments »

4 Responses to “Respect for Myself”

  1. Elle

    Please don’t feel that you need to make big steps or move quickly. Any progress at all takes more courage and insight than most people ever bother with. My first little step was painting my toenails, and while it helped me to eventually paint my fingernails more often in public I still love painting my toenails. I’m at the point where feet look weird to me without nail polish.

    I’m so proud of you.


  2. Lane

    I remember when I dyed my hair for the first time. Not a big deal, not even permanent, but it was the first time I let myself decide that looking a way that felt right to me was more important than what people in my community thought I should look like. It was incredibly empowering and helped me grow out of the sulky, miserable kid I was into someone who is really, genuinely happy with his life. Kudos to you to making your own first step. You’re fantastic!


  3. Julian

    Don’t be ashamed of moving at your own pace, and don’t let anyone else force you to go faster or slower than you’re comfortable with. :)

    My first step was cutting my hair short–SHORT! For 22 years, it had been past my waist, and I had it all lopped off [unfortunately I couldn’t donate it, as it had been dyed to death].

    And now almost a year later, I’m about to speak with my doctor about starting on T this week. When I had my hair cut, I had no idea it would lead to such big changes, and so quickly.

    Just remember that everyone lives and learns at their own pace. :)


  4. Maximillian711

    I think that sounds like a brilliant first step: ambiguous enough to not fully ‘out’ you in one go, but enough of a step in the ‘right’ direction to make you feel like you’re making progress. Good luck in wherever your steps are taking you. x


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top