Role model
Reposted from genderqueer and EMMA.
“Because his son likes to wear skirts Nils Pickert started with it as well. After all, the little one needs a role model. And he thinks long skirts with elastic bands suit him quite well anyways. A story about two misfits in the Province of southern Germany.”
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Posted by Kat on September 19th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Category: faces 9 comments »
September 19th, 2012 at 6:57 pm |
Wow, that’s so sweet! :D
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September 20th, 2012 at 11:37 pm |
It can be that daddy is just trying to say “yes, my son wears a skirt, so what, I join him/her because I love him/her anyway”
But I get the feeling that daddy says “so what, it is just a skirt, everybody can wear it, even me, it is nothing important, we are just playing”
There are many genderconfused, transgendered kids and to them it means a lot. Because sometimes a dress is the only way to express a feeling they have not leared any words for at their young age. And the fact that daddy (in this picture) takes this to get some attantion himself and to make it something `unimportant` like in “hey, where`s the point in men wearing skirts? Everybody can, its just clothes, doesn`t matter”.
As nice as it is for a child, knowing that your parents are on your side and accept you, but they should not react childish and make fun of it. If I were that little kid on the picture I guess I would think “wait, so my daddy wants to be a girl also, or why the hell is he wearing that skirt?”
I get the point that it is great when people challenge others and show that even men can wear skirts, men have and can show their feminin side and so on…but…what I mean is…for some kids it is not like “I am a boy and I want to wear a skirt”, for many it is “I am a girl, why the hell are they all blind an find it strange that I wear a skirt?? Why don`t they just let me an stop making it something strange and freaky!”
But at the end of the day I guess I would rather have a dad who dances the freak-dance with me then one who pays no attention to me at all….
Anybody knows what city that picture is taken? I am from germany and Ì have seen this sight bevore but can`t remember the name of the city.
Could this be Freiburg?
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September 22nd, 2012 at 5:08 pm |
I whole heartily agree with the person above me. That little boy probably doesn’t even think he’s a boy. I knew when I was little, I certainly didn’t think I was a girl. I would scream at my parents and ruin all my dresses whenever they put me in them. My thought process was: “Why are you making me wear a dress? Boy’s don’t wear dresses.” My parents finally gave in and just let me wear whatever I wanted. And, hell, I still don’t wear dresses.
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September 22nd, 2012 at 11:53 pm |
My two cents – http://www.sippycupcocktails.com/2012/09/attention-seeking-dad-gays-up-his-son.html
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rainbow fish replied:
September 23rd, 2012 at 3:02 pm
Your blog post is offensive and ridiculous.
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September 23rd, 2012 at 1:14 am |
This is an interesting subject that goes around in my head since I saw that picture.
I did not say the kid should not wear their dress in public to avoid bad reactions. I did not say the dad should talk his kid out of the dress bevore leaving the house.
BUT: I also suspect those parents who are so called feminists and try to “gay up” their kids and project their own view of equality on them. What if the kid loves to be heteronormative and feels most comfortable in his own body and the gendered clothinig? If you little boy wants to be a macho, let him be, if your little boy wants to be a princess, let her be! Good parents offer everything and are aware that the kid does not have meet their expectations. Good parents love their kid whatever it turns out to be.
I assume that the dad in this picture is a heterosexual male living in a quite heteronormative relationship. But as (when I got the article in the link above right) he says he and his wife live in an equal relationship and they try to raise their kid that way, I wonder why it is so hard for him just to dress “normal”, in his regular clothes he wears everyday next to his kid wearing the dress?? In my eyes the dad wearing a skirt in that situation is an expression of shame. He seems ashamed to walk, a “normal” man next to a boy in a dress. As long as he is feminist enough to not talk his kid out of the dress, he chooses to put a skirt on himself.
But think the most authentik and honest way to deal with a transgendered kid is to be who you are and to let the kids be who they are. It needs a bit more than wearing a skirt to make a real feminist/”genderist”. Tolerance and acceptance may sometimes start with clothing, which is a way to express yourself. But I think it is not enough. So, please, all parents of transgendered kids: you don`t have to make a fool of youselves to make your kid feel better!!!
But: maybe the boy in this picture wanted to try the dress this one day, and maybe tomorrow he wants to dress up in a spiderman costume or whatever. How will his dad walk around next to his little spiderman then, or next to his little shauwn the sheep, or next to his little darth vader???
I just can`t stop thinking about all this…maybe I should start to study gender theories at once!!!!!
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Anonymous replied:
September 23rd, 2012 at 3:14 am
I do agree that if the child is trans the actions of the dad could be seen as minamizing the importance of the statement of wearing a dress, but that being said perhaps if more and more things like this keep happening the first reaction to a man in a dress or skirt won’t be to suggest he’s making a fool of himself. Clothes really are just clothes after all, and I know plenty of cisgender men who would rather wear female-designated clothes if they wouldn’t be seen as ridiculous or a joke by doing so.
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September 25th, 2012 at 1:03 am |
I think the concept of giving the kid a role model is great. There is in fact a different meaning attached to a skirt than to a spiderman costume. There is a taboo about boys wearing dresses or skirts. The dad knows about the pressure that comes with it, he knows it is harder on a kid than on an adult. He loves his kid and wants to support the kid. I never thought of this way to support your kid before, but it is so straight forward and obviously helpful. :o)
And yes, the kid might be a trans*girl instead of a cis*boy that wears dresses. There is always more that one role model for a kid. I think it is good for all kids to see that there are options. And yes you can be a trans*woman without wanting to wear dresses.
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October 8th, 2012 at 6:05 pm |
Here’s my thoughts; right now, the kid is too young for us to know whether they are male, female or neither. As far as we know, the kid hasn’t presented a preference, and even if they have, they are young enough that it might change (some people figure it out early, some people don’t). All the dad has to go on right now is that his little XY-chromosomed child likes to wear dresses, and society will tell that kid they can’t because of said chromosomes. The dad recognizes that is bullshit, and is doing something very brave to correct it.
In five or ten years, the kid might come out as a woman, or a genderqueer person, or an otherwise cis cross dresser, or may stop wearing feminine clothes entirely. Some of those options may result in the same difficult conversations/reevaluations of identity that many families of gender-funky people have to go through. Or maybe the decision will be no surprise. However it turns out, the dad has shown that he cares about making his child feel comfortable in their own choices. He has shown that caring on a level most parents wouldn’t even think of. It may turn out to be spot-on or misguided. That doesn’t matter. Its still fucking awesome.
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