See me

Someone wrote…

I’m thinking that even with my chest bound, people see me as a female due to my hair and face. But I don’t want to cut my hair. Why can’t I simply be a beautiful person with delicate features and long hair, rather than a woman with a small chest?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on April 4th, 2012 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “See me”

  1. Lane

    I know a lot of people who cut their hair during early transition just to make an already challenging time easier, but grow it back after testosterone made it easier for them to be read the way they wanted. I intended to do that, until I found that I actually felt more comfortable with short hair myself.

    Of course, if you don’t want to be seen as a man or a woman, that’s its own issue. It sucks that society won’t recognize non-binary identities, and that people have been programmed to box people into one gender or another at first sight. I’ve taken to looking at strangers and thinking, “that’s an attractive person-whose-gender-ID-I-don’t-know,” if they express any level of androgyny, so people can change how they read another person’s gender. It just takes education and time.

    For the time being, you can absolutely be a beautiful person with delicate features and long hair. If members of society misread that as flat-chested woman, that sucks, but its on them, not you.


  2. Shea

    This is the problem I have as well. My haircut is not considered traditionally feminine (long dreadlocks with shaved sides) but I feel like it contributes to being read consistently as female. It’s frustrating, because I feel like I have to choose between being constantly misgendered and being myself, or sacrificing important parts of my identity (long hair, facial piercings that accent the “prettiness” of my features, eccentric dress) to be gendered even close to correctly.


  3. Anonymous

    I cut my hair short a while ago when I was first exploring my gender identity because it just felt right at the time…but I then realized that 1) this just accentuated how female i looked…and 2) i also just felt that i looked wrong somehow, as i have had somewhat longer hair all my life. I have been growing it out to the style i most commonly have worn it…and it seems that with the other changes i have made in my presentation, having long hair is actually helping me pass as male! I am really aiming to be gender-neutral, but if I can get sir’d occasionally while still rocking the long, soft curls I love, then my day is made. Try looking up femme ftms, transguys with long hair, or the like. There are many folks who are similarly aiming towards a presentation a bit similar to what you describe. Best of luck!


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