Sticking my tongue out!
Submitted by Misty Wets, the model and photographer.
“Just being proud of living as a female for the past 5 years! I’m very, very proud of being transgendered and my tongue sticking out is for all the haters out there! EAT YOUR HEART OUT!!!”
( Submit A Photo )
Posted by Kat on June 9th, 2012 at 10:00 am
Category: faces 18 comments »
June 9th, 2012 at 4:52 pm |
You are beautiful. <3
[Reply]
June 11th, 2012 at 9:09 pm |
wow u got any more pics miss??
[Reply]
June 13th, 2012 at 9:45 am |
Wow. Just wow. My first thought upon seeing this was ‘it’s unusual to see a cis girl doing a pose like that on this website’, then I read the writing underneath. You look amazing, and I wish I passed half as well as that! (jealous? slightly…). Seriously though, love the picture.
[Reply]
radical/rebel replied:
June 13th, 2012 at 2:06 pm
just a li’l response:
when we celebrate someone for looking “amazing” because we read them as being cisgender, we’re affirming that the best way a trans* person can look is “like they’re cis.”
that’s the kind of sentiment that makes trans people hate themselves and feel like they don’t look as good as they should if they don’t always pass. not to mention: not everyone WANTS to pass as cisgender.
conflating cisgender with being attractive is kinda messed up. I’m sure you meant yr comments in a loving spirit, but they reflect some negative norms in our society.
-radical/rebel
[Reply]
Maximillian711 replied:
June 14th, 2012 at 1:13 pm
As someone who is trans myself I can see where you’re coming from, however describing it a ‘messed up’ is going a step far. Yes, there are negative norms, no cisgendered isn’t necessarily best and appearing so always desirable, but what IS amazing is the effort/journey you’ve obviously been through to look as you do in that picture. I posted my thoughts as I had them, with no intention of offending, and I apologise if I have done so, as my intention was solely friendly – I personally know it makes me feel like the pain and effort is/was easier to go through when people recognise me as the guy I am rather than the girl I was born as. I don’t see why ‘passing’ should have so many negative connotations, it’s what some of us want, and others don’t, so what? I’m trans, I want to ‘pass’ and I don’t hate myself, just to put that out there. Best. x
[Reply]
tigr replied:
June 14th, 2012 at 1:29 pm
Nothing wrong with wanting to be read as something in particular; in the end that’s kind of what trans* is about, right?:)
Though I think radical/rebel’s got a point there … it does kinda reinforce the idea that “cis bodies” are the ideal everyone has to aspire to, that a visibly-trans body is not as beautiful — might be totally unintentional on your part! it’s just something one should be reflective about.
Anyway, made me think of this again: http://genderfork.com/2012/how-to-tell/ watch it, it’s good:)
And reminded me I want to read “Nobody Passes” at some point…
radical/rebel replied:
June 14th, 2012 at 3:47 pm
the part that I described as “messed up” was saying that being cisgender = being attractive, and being attractive = being cisgender. I’m standing by the fact that that’s messed up, because it is. I am also “trans myself.”
also, everyone should read NOBODY PASSES, THAT’S REVOLTING, and WHY ARE FAGGOTS SO AFRAID OF FAGGOTS? big, big, queer, flamboyant love for mattilda bernstein sycamore.
take care y’all. it’s a rough world out there, let’s make it better for ourselves and everyone else.
-radical/rebel
June 14th, 2012 at 9:06 pm |
and tigr:
your definition of trans* does not apply to me. please don’t assume all people are trans* because they desire “to be read as something in particular.”
part of being trans* for me means, very strongly, not wanting to have people read me one particular way at all–instead, I want people to not be ABLE to read me. your comment is a kind of erasure of my experience. you’re presuming all trans* people want what you do. that’s not so.
[Reply]
tigr replied:
June 14th, 2012 at 9:36 pm
Sorry ! You know, I’d personally prefer people wouldn’t be able to read me, either; well okay, granted, sometimes it’s easier if you just go with the flow, and people are so stubborn in boxing you in one or the other… but still, I think I generally follow your sentiment. So -in my head- “wanting to be read as something in particular” had kinda included the “want people to not be able to tell”. Apparently it came across differently. :/
This tigr definitely needs to catch up on some sleep. Another eight hours till dissertation deadline, rrrrhh….
[Reply]
radical/rebel replied:
June 14th, 2012 at 10:09 pm
yeah! I mean, I don’t think you’re a bad person for what you said, or anything. I’m just super-interested in language, struggle a LOT with being trans*, and am always trying to figure out what being trans* means to me and how I want to talk about myself, and how I want other people to talk about me. and definitely I want one part of my gender to be “confusion,” or something close–I like it when they stare, I guess…
good luck with dissertation! I’m avoiding academic work, too! o, academia.
[Reply]
J.D. replied:
June 16th, 2012 at 8:01 pm
I read this thread and really liked some of the thoughts expressed (God knows I too have problems with making language work for me, and I’m supposed to be writing and translating stuff for a career!) and how everything ended on a civil note. Kudos to yunz for being able to talk it out – that’s a rare and beautiful occurrence on the net these days.
Also, good to know I’m not the only one avoiding my schoolwork (I mean for real, its summer, I don’t WANT to practice my Hebrew)
tl;dr: I have nothing constructive to add but this conversation resolution was fantastic.
June 15th, 2012 at 2:13 pm |
All I did was say you look amazing and say that I initially read you as cis. I refuse to retract either statement, as that would be a lie and, to me, morally repugnant. I never specifically linked the two. There are both attractive and unattractive people in both the cis and trans categories. The later, some are ‘passing’ and others not. Just to be clear, I DO NOT EQUATE CIS WITH ATTRACTIVE AND TRANS WITH NOT. Although I prefer to ‘pass’ myself, I respect those who don’t wish to equally. If I had seen that picture and not been told you were trans, however, I would never have guessed.
Maybe this is not what you wanted to hear, but attacking someone for being honest and trying to give you a genuine compliment just because you disagree with the link that you made between the two isn’t going to help anyone. We have enough detractors without having a go at each other. Best. x
[Reply]
radical/rebel replied:
June 15th, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I’m not the person in the picture.
[Reply]
Maximillian711 replied:
June 16th, 2012 at 3:22 am
Okay, confusing…so can I ask why you’ve decided to have a go at me then?
[Reply]
radical/rebel replied:
June 16th, 2012 at 9:00 am
You wrote a comment. I replied to it. I haven’t attacked you or treated you with (in my eyes) very much hostility. I tried to make a point about cis/trans, attractiveness, and passing. It didn’t really connect with your experiences. I think we can both virtually walk away from this conversation now. Neither of us is learning anything here.
June 16th, 2012 at 1:06 pm |
Fair enough, I felt that you came across as aggressive about my views but if that is not how it was meant then my apologies.
[Reply]
June 18th, 2012 at 6:21 pm |
Someone thought the op was cis, amazing, and wished to ‘pass’ as they did. So? I’m going to read this as meaning that one poster was reflecting their views as they would want to be seen themselves, not as what anyone else would.
[Reply]
Lill replied:
June 18th, 2012 at 6:22 pm
oops, clarify that: someone thought the op looked cis
[Reply]