The Possibility of Something More
Someone wrote…
For the last three years, I’ve thought of myself as a gay man. Now I’m confronted with the possibility of it being something more, something else. And the thought of having to confront it, of having to rediscover myself for a second time, and then to share that discovery, scares me half to death.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on April 26th, 2012 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 6 comments »
April 26th, 2012 at 2:11 pm |
This is the position I am in, except I self-id’ed as gay for 20 years instead of just 3… It’s an ongoing challenge to try and sort things out, and half the time I’m scared to death of where the rabbit-hole leads…
You are not alone. *hugs*
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April 26th, 2012 at 4:12 pm |
I also thought I had found some closure to what was different about me when I came to the conclusion I was bi – but that persistent nagging feeling is still there, and I’m realizing that wasn’t the half of it. This gender stuff feels like a gift and a curse; I just wish I knew what to do about it and where to let it take me.
In some ways it was easier to just think of myself as a weird or eccentric outsider, but that’s just not cutting it anymore.
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April 26th, 2012 at 5:46 pm |
I am in a similar situation as well. Sometimes I feel like I don’t fit anywhere, even among other LGBTA people. What does it even mean to be gay if I don’t feel like a man?
For now, I try not to worry too much about the exact words I use for myself and take one day of exploration at a time. But whatever we are, we ARE just as normal as everyone else (which is not very much).
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April 26th, 2012 at 6:17 pm |
Why do we need labels? Why do we need to fit in? A wise person once said, “be yourself – everyone else is already taken”. Try thinking of yourself as non-gendered or a third gender. I am a gay man housed in a woman’s body. No one sees me, they only see the house, but I am me nonetheless. You and I are unique, just like everybody else!
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April 26th, 2012 at 9:06 pm |
This was my feeling a year or so ago. You are not alone- and, in my opinion, it has become worth that scare.
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April 28th, 2012 at 1:26 pm |
It’s scary, but moments like that make me feel alive. Keep at it, it’s so worth it :)
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