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Someone wrote…

I have found myself thinking about gender a lot lately. Over the past few years I have gradually eschewed certain things that I once saw as a part of growing up. Shaving, bras and make up are things I looked forward to with earnest, but now don’t fit with my gender. Binding is something I have wanted to do for so long — and I have tried the two sports bra thing — but it is bloody uncomfortable and restricts what shirts I wear.

I am not cis — but I don’t feel genderqueer or androgynous enough to identify otherwise. I get read as female which is okay but sometimes I would like to be read as male or not read at all.

Sometimes it feels like this is all in my head and I’m simply spending too much time thinking about gender. But I know I am not cis.

I feel only the most infinitesimal dysphoria but having a flat chest would please me.

Maybe I should eschew labels and just identify as me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted by Rhiannon, the photographer.

“Daryian is an androgynous model posing by the beautiful lake Ontario in an eccentric gothic style.”

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Submitted by Jade Esteban Estrada, the model.

“On Cinco de Mayo, comedian Jade Esteban Estrada prepares for his performance at Cheers Bar in Corpus Christi, Texas.”

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Trailer for a fun in-progress documentary, Kings, Queens, & In-Betweens

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Someone wrote…

I sit here and Wish people would call me by my chosen name because all my “binary” name does is tear pieces of my soul away.

Please someone help me in dealing with this pain…

How do you deal with it?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted anonymously.

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You can call me… Vince.

I identify as… genderqueer androgynous indigenous person.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I prefer he, but she is ok … neither fits and both fit.

I’m attracted to… beautiful souls.

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that my gender-queerness does not give them license to force their perception of my supposed gender onto me.

I want people to understand… that it is sometimes confusing for me to be male-female at the same time.

About Vince
Queer Indigenous Artist

» Define yourself. «

Submitted by Cast, the model and photographer.

“Christmas Eve, trying out the new flat iron in my 19 century jammies.”

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Someone wrote…

I’ve always gravitated toward men’s clothing (especially t-shirts) due to the comfort factor, but after shaving my head for a cancer fundraiser, I’ve been embracing my masculine side a lot more. It confuses the living daylights out of the kids at the museum I work at, and I can’t help but feel proud when they ask “Are you a girl or a boy?” or when they give me complete WTF looks.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

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You can call me… Sam.

I identify as… Genderqueer! I’m a strange blend of things, my own kind.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … ze and hir make me feel most comfortable and at ease. I’m too scared to ask for it, it seems so complex and so much to expect of others.

I’m attracted to… any beautiful, spiritual presence. Someone who loves forests, umbrellas, postcards. I dated a biological male for a long time, and I’m not so sure that it was ever right for me.

When people talk about me, I want them to… maybe be inspired by the passion I possess, the vision I have for a socially just and liberated world – equality, celebration, holistic health, freedom of expression, blah blah blah. I am sometimes the idealist that makes you roll your eyes. Other times, I am the pessimist, crippled by the obstacles that stand before us. All of the time, I am overwhelmed and dizzy with love.

I want people to understand… it wasn’t until I read Judith Butler and was given the vision of an “open coalition,” did I realize that, by accepting and validating my gender identity, I am engaging in a radical act. When we imagine, invent, and embrace fluidity – when we dare to express and be ourselves – we are creating not merely a space for ourselves, but a safer space for others to do the same. The greatest form of liberation may not actually be celebrating any particular label we have, but rather, questioning all of them, constantly uncovering new meanings and new ways to define ourselves. Being queer means that for me. It opens up new territory to better express, understand, and celebrate myself.

About Sam
Hi, my name is Sam! I am a third-year college student, majoring in Anthropology and Women’s & Gender Studies. I am a passionate activist, writer, and musician. I love learning, creating, and listening. I spend a lot of time laying in the grass and thinking too much.

» Define yourself. «

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Jacob asks…

I don’t find many posts about conflict in employment or the workplace on this site. I am a gender queer male, and while I am closeted against my will to my friends and family, which is constantly heartbreaking, my real struggles come from my employers.

I currently work at a company that is so bigoted they won’t even allow me to wear earrings-because I am technically a male. Thus makeup, fingernail polish, etc. is severely out of the question.

I’m trying to relocate to a friendlier town, but will more than likely be employed in the construction/manufacturing industry- a field where my true self exposed could lead to violence, or unemployment. I’m just curious how others have struggled, succeeded, or failed in obtaining and maintaining their jobs in our (sadly) rigid and hostile environment.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

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