Progress seems so difficult to gain when it comes to gender identity; it makes me wonder if I’m broken or if I’m just unlucky. I can go to bed one night with a strong conviction that I am indeed truly female, but when I wake I realize that physically I’m still male and doubt attacks.
The easy solution seems to be “proud” and just express myself however I’m feeling each day, but that isn’t what I truly need. I can barely survive living as a visible male, but the thought of looking like a manly woman hurts too much to make…progress. I need to clarify, there is no such thing as incorrect gender expression, but one that mixes both specific genders does not fit me.
I feel so lost and confused; yet I feel like I have all the answers I need. I wonder if anyone else has ever been in this dark hole before, a constant conflict in yourself and no progress is being made. I keep asking myself questions and the answer feels blank, but still carries a ton of weight somehow. I want to seek guidance, but know this is a one person story.
What’s your experience?