Someone wrote…

You travelin’ alone, girl [sic]?” I get this question, in various forms, from nearly every ride (who identifies me as a female-bodied person) and from nearly every person I converse with about hitchhiking (who identifies me as a female-bodied person).

We live in a fear culture. It keeps us apart from each other. That’s what it’s designed to do. Femmes and female-bodied people live in a fear subculture inside the fear culture. We’re taught to be afraid of everything, because as long as we are, we’re immobilized by that fear. That’s also what it’s designed to do.

I’m not saying that there isn’t some truth to the dangers of a female-bodied person traveling alone. And I am saying that as a genderqueer person (who appears fairly androgynous), it’s less dangerous for me to travel alone than femme-ier folks. But I’m also saying that I will have my freedom. What is it they say in New Hampshire? Live free or die? And I’m certainly not angling to die.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on March 5th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Hitchhiking”

  1. Sam

    Thank you for writing this! I’m female-bodied and lived as female in India, so I have a lot experience with fear culture. Because I’m transmasculine I sometimes notice myself shirking my responsibility around these issues, since it won’t be a problem for me much longer. I needed a little bit of a challenge, so thanks!


  2. Jesse

    I’ve never been afraid. I don’t know why. I go wandering in some part of a city I don’t know and later the friends I am visiting say, “You’re kidding, why aren’t you dead yet? You should never go around that way and never by yourself, do you want to die?” No I don’t want to die. but I never, or almost never, get hassled. I’m not small, I’m not demure. I don’t blatantly present as something I am not – i am not performance art. But I also feel all people are my brothers and sisters, even if they don’t want to be. I mean none harm and I have a hard time feeling like others have harm for me. Maybe I’m just stupid, or crazy, or lucky. But the world is what you make it. The world is what we make it into, every day we have a choice to make it better. Not all better, for sure, but not worse either.

    My mother raised me to accept myself and walk my own road. I don’t depend on other people to define me and I never make others mind me. When I was younger I could run fast, but now maybe I’m just not a very interesting target. Good luck to all the other wandering aliens on this little blue planet.


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