Holes

Someone wrote…

My New Years resolution was to go on this mental, physical and emotional journey to find myself and to find my place in the world, to find meaning and to figure out how to be proud of my transgenderness rather than afraid of it.

It’s taken me a year and five months to get to this stage in the acceptance process, a year where I’ve let this identity cripple me until I found myself in this massive hole that I had no idea how to climb out of. A couple months ago I decided to just try. I’ve decided to dip a toe into the community I’ve been terrified to acknowledge for so long, to tell people, and to ask for help.

It’s taken me until now to realize that I’m more or less out of the hole. I still have a little walking to do, but I can finally see a future for myself, I can see happiness and meaning.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on February 13th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 4 comments »

4 Responses to “Holes”

  1. Anonymous

    didn`t find me in your hole, did you? I have lost my ground too.
    May I ask how you went on your journey? What did you do to…get an answer from yourself? How did your real self catch your attention? What are the signs I should watch out for? Any advice how to improove the realness of these trans feelings? And I do not speak of “just step out in mens clothing and see how you feel”. I already dress in mostly male clothing. But I still am never mistaken for a man, unfortunately. But all further steps can only be done by hormones, and I do not want to take a “wrong” path….so…how do I find out its true?

    [Reply]

    Shane replied:

    I feel you. This is very similar to my situation at this moment, too. I’m at a point where I know I need to do something, maybe seek therapy or come out to at least one person in my life, but I don’t want to put myself through these things if it turns out not being the right thing for me, and I feel like I won’t be able to tell if it’s wrong unless I move forward.
    I can’t offer any specific advice, everyone’s journey is different, and the only person who can truly know for certain is you. One thing that has helped me lately is realizing that there is no hurry to figure these things out or to transition. There are plenty of people who do not take steps to transition until much later in their lives. Just take baby steps and see if they feel right for you. Maybe try looking for a new name, or a new set of pronouns, or try packing and/or binding, just doing anything that might validate the way you feel inside. Good luck and hang in there<3

    [Reply]

  2. Shane

    Congratulations on finding that courage. I wish you the best.

    [Reply]

  3. Cameron Joel

    Welcome! I’m so glad you’re here with us.

    [Reply]


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