How?

Someone wrote…

I sit here and Wish people would call me by my chosen name because all my “binary” name does is tear pieces of my soul away.

Please someone help me in dealing with this pain…

How do you deal with it?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 16th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to “How?”

  1. Mori

    If you want to know how to deal with people using the wrong name, well, I’ve found it useful to have friends who will correct others on your behalf or back you up if someone doesn’t take you seriously. I’ve cut people out of my life or only talk to them on occasion via email if there appears to be no hope for them.

    As for the pain of actually being misgendered/hearing the wrong name, I suppose I’ve tried to deal with it by taking all possible steps to avoid hearing it again (legally changing it, moving to a new place). If that’s not possible, make sure you spend plenty of time around people who do use your chosen name and can reassure you that that’s who they perceive you as.

    [Reply]

  2. Wiley

    I second Mori. Also, it might be good to find some other outlets to affirm your gender…for me this means listening to good music and dressing how I want. That stinks that people won’t accept you in that way. Maybe finding other ways to keep your mind in a positive place will help in the meantime. If Mori’s suggestions don’t work, sometimes one also just has to not listen to the jerks out there, (easier said than done, I know). Their hurtful actions say more about their own problems than about us. The world is full of people who would tear us down…but it is also full of awesome things and wonderful, supportive people. I hope you find more of the latter in your life soon.

    [Reply]


Leave a Reply


Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.


Back to top