How I feel

Someone wrote…

I’m scared this is all a phase, but it is still just how I feel right now.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 25th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 7 comments »

7 Responses to “How I feel”

  1. Boo

    Perhaps it is a phase…Is that terrible? I think many people who are hateful towards gender variant people often use the “oh, it’s probably just a phase” line to minimalize the legitimacy of our feelings…so most of us seem to be very self-doubting, even when it’s not a phase. This said, there are some of us for whom it is just a phase…but I don’t see why that is a reason for our feelings or explorations of self to be dismissed or disrespected. There’s nothing wrong with being gender variant…and so there’s nothing wrong with questioning yourself and figuring yourself out–as long as it’s done in a manner that’s respectful to others and for the right reasons. Regardless, being unsure about your identity can be pretty ungrounding and scary all on its own…even without people’s scrutiny. Best of luck to you!

    [Reply]

    tigr replied:

    This is something needed to be heard. Thank you.

    [Reply]

  2. Anonymous

    I am petrified that this is all a phase. You are not alone in this fear.

    [Reply]

  3. Jack

    I find it significant, that we feel we can only explore our gender and sexuality if it is permanent. Like we feel we only have permission from society for one change and that’s all we are allowed. If we want to change and explore further, we have somehow violated some sort of permission or contract!

    Don’t pay any attention! Explore away! If its “just” a phase, it is your reality and should be validated as such. All the best :-)

    [Reply]

  4. Thomas

    To the previous commenters: THANK YOU! I have experienced this so many times, and my response has always been slight shock that people are expected to be static individuals, with everything about themselves set in stone.
    To the OP: Your feelings are completely genuine and the only thing that can define you. If they change, so what? Allow yourself to be yourself at all times, especially if that means you’re willing to evolve and grow along the way.

    [Reply]

  5. David Arnn

    The power that we gain from stepping out of our fear based box to try…and yes I say try to explore our feelings about our selves is ok. Most people would and do shove that “personal questioning” down very deep. Now as a gender queer person that I am, I still question my self on some days. I say “David, why in the hell do you do this? You are just making it harder on everyone including your self” Well my answer to myself is ….”Remember how miserable you were for so long” I then stand a little taller and like myself a bit more.

    [Reply]

    Anonymous replied:

    Good on you!

    [Reply]


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