Someone wrote…

I am disabled, and I identify as FTM. I observed that everytime someone wants to know something about my disability, they start with “Excuse me, I don’t want to be rude/intrusive but what do you have with your leg ?” And I always answer them kindly since I have no problem being asked about it.

But when it comes to gender, those same people don’t even understand that asking “Are you a boy or a girl ?” “Do you want a phalloplasty ?” or “Does it mean you won’t have kids ?” is actually rude and intrusive.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on October 15th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Intrusive”

  1. Anonymous

    I would like to ask why you feel that the questions about gender are rude and intrusive? It’s not obvious to me why questions about your disability are acceptable, but gender is not.


  2. Afton

    I think he means how they’re asking, and maybe the type of questions. When it comes to the disabled bit it’s all “excuse me” and “I don’t mean to be rude” but when they ask him about his gender they’re very frank and intrusive in their questions.


  3. Alex (author)

    Hey, so this is my answer ! (somehow late, I’m sorry!)

    basically, the questions about my disability shows that people understand and accept that some topics are “sensitive” and it is normal, polite and respectful to say “I understand if you don’t want to answer”.
    And in the same time, those well-raised people just dare to ask questions about my gender/sexuality without even thinking it can be also a sensitive topic.
    What strikes me the most, is that people make such a difference between “health related stuff” and “gender/sexuality stuff”.

    Last thing : I think (this is my own opinion, everyone can disagree) that questions about disability are “less rude” than about gender because my disability affects more my social interactions (Things I can do/or not) than my gender expression.
    (Like Afton pointed in their comment)


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