No Gender

Someone wrote…

I just wish we lived in a world where it was okay to have no gender, without worrying about being ostracized, or being told that I must have a gender in order to live in this world.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 30th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 13 comments »

13 Responses to “No Gender”

  1. Skye

    I have no gender. It’s okay by me if you don’t have one! I don’t think I need to choose a gender. I’m still a human, I still have a personality, gender isn’t important. It may upset other people, and people may give me a hard time for it, but I’d rather stay true to myself than conform to society.

    [Reply]

  2. german dude

    I sometimes whish I could meet Commander Strax of Doctor Who in real life, as this live form seems to know no gender at all. I love it when Strax calls everybody a guy even if the other person is obviously a woman….

    I wouldn`t need gender for myself too, but I am afraid that if it weren`t gender, people would make up something else to categorize themselves. There must always be some differences that make each of us an individual, what differences would that be if we leave out gender, color, race, religion, bodyform and so on? Society needs categories to function, doesn`t it? Any ideas how a society without categories of all kind would work?

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  3. Skye

    I have no idea how to create a society without gender and categories of any other kind! But I think a gender-free society would work. Not sure how sexual orientation would be affected. I guess there would be no sexual orientation? Who would say “I’m gay” if there’s no gender? Sexuality labels wouldn’t be used anymore. It seems complicated in my mind. Instead of a person stating a sexuality label, they would say, “I’m attracted to people with low voices, beards and penises that they were born with, or penises that were surgically attached”. It would take more words to explain oneself.

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  4. Anonymous

    Skye, I think you’re missing the point. Sexual orientation is another label forced upon us. Without gender, we wouldn’t need to identify sexual orientation. This might strike people as odd, but it truly isn’t. One would simply work out their attraction on a case-by-case basis, rather than broad sweeping generalization.

    Further, people with penises could still be called men because this is their sex.

    [Reply]

    radical/rebel replied:

    can we leave behind the whole idea of sex, though? not all people with penises are men. not all men are people with penises.

    gender is a construct. so is sex! the body is marked by language, by our concepts, by our limited understandings.

    toward more Butler all the time because Butler helps us get free
    radical rebel

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  5. Skye

    I didn’t intend to generalize, or come across as totally ignorant. I actually was saying that without gender, there would be no sexual orientation. I honestly didn’t realize I was generalizing (spacing out again) when I said “gay” then later wrote “people with low voices, beards and penises that they were born with, or penises that were surgically attached”. It must have come across as me thinking that someone who identifies as gay in the current gendered social system would want people with low voices, beards, and penises. I know that not all people with penises are men, and I know that not all men have penises. That sentence about the beard and low voices etc. was just an example of what one might say in a genderless society if they were to describe what type of person they are attracted to.

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    radical/rebel replied:

    it doesn’t bother to me that you’re coming across as ignorant, but you are coming off as a little offensive to me.

    like the phrase, “penises that were surgically attached” is kind of gross and disheartening for me to read as a trans-masculine person. trans masculine people who have bottom surgery don’t get “penises” “attached” to them, they have their own genitals transformed into a penis. there’s not just loose penises floating in space that get surgically attached to trans guys, for pete’s sake!

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    Skye replied:

    I apologize for offending you or anyone.

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    radical/rebel replied:

    I’m not big on apologies, especially from people I don’t know over the Internet, and especially, especially not ones that are apologies to “me, or anyone” … That seems pretty callous.

    radical/rebel

  6. Skye

    I wasn’t being callous. I was wrong. I apologized to everyone because I may have offended a lot of people. Advice: don’t call a stranger “callous”. You don’t have to accept my apology, just don’t go deciding how I feel when you don’t know me at all.

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  7. german dude

    Thats what I meant!!! (Well, I think neither I or the original poster did mean to say something that offends others or makes up an argue like above….sorry guys)

    If there is no category like `man`or `woman` to differentiate who is who, and if one day all people would stop differentiating others by the color of their skin or size or whatever, there would be something else made up by society to differentiate. There will always be the need to define oneself. And to define who I am I also need a definition of who or what I am NOT. Mankind will always need words and boxes to define everything. Thats how we are.
    So…for me the deconstruction is just a dream, it`s utopia….
    Thats why I still think it makes more sense to make some changes in peoples heads and hearts, to educate others that there is more than two boxes, instead of wishing all boxes away…

    Funny thing to confuse gender and/or sex with sexual orientation. I once met a gay guy (maab) and he said to me: “if men wouldn`t be called men anymore, I would never be albe to say something cool like `I am gay, I am a man who loves men`anymore. Your idea of a deconstruction of gender steals my identity. I identify as gay very proudly, and in a genderles society I could not do so!”

    Oh, and stop arguing you two above. I get both your points. Skye, I think it is nice to say sorry when you realize you said something that offends others, and rebel: I always like to read your comments, you are a very tolerant person and you mostly get it to the point, whatever subject you are commenting on. Just don`t be pissed by someone who just tries to come through this komplex and confusing subject about gender/sex/orientation. Nobody`s perfect.

    [Reply]

    radical/rebel replied:

    hi german dude!

    I will work harder on not getting steamed up over stuff that really doesn’t matter. thank you for reminding me to stay patient and open-minded!

    radical gratitude, radical kindness
    radical/rebel

    [Reply]

  8. german dude

    Me again:
    I still really try to get my head around this idea of a genderless society….if we left behind all those categories…there would be no need to identify as man, woman, hetero, gay, no need to call oneself trans or whatever.
    In this `new` society people would identify as…only humans. Which would be great and I can imagine that beeing possible.
    And the people would describe their sexual /romantic attraction to others in different ways, they could/would no longer use terms like man and woman, male or female…

    Maybe they would say things like ” I love this person because they are friendly/helpful/powerful/good/beautiful/blue eyed/young/faithful/….
    Sounds good, but then again, if someone would WANT to identify as male or female (those words exist, we cannot delete them from the brains of people who use them, right?) they would be somehow….ruled out, there would be the same society made of a majority and some minorities.
    There would still be groups of people that would be seen as…unattractive, people would still get discriminated for…let`s say for not beeing as genderless as all the others…. the structure would not change, only the words.

    And…would it not be boring as hell if we were all the “same”? All this harmony everywhere, if everybody was beautiful and lovely, everybody would fall in love with everybody….I mean…I am tolerant and everything, but there are some people I don`t like because they are bad, but we cannot leave gender behind but insist on the boxes `good`and `bad`, because … who are we to define that?

    I am so totally confused right now…I hope I did not offend anyone now…I just get mad at myself, cause I would love to have it all genderless, but I cannot imagine it working! I think it all has it`s price.

    Maybe a restart of the world we know would make it possible to delete boxes…maybe I am just watching to much fiction….

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